HAPPY GOOD ONE!

I really want to live GIVING IT ALL BACK TO YOU!!

Happy Good One!  THANKS GOD!

You may wonder why I say that all the time, since they are not really complete sentences and sound a little silly!  My dad use to say those two sentences ALL the time!!  Regardless of what he was going through.  He also used to always say "mek had khatch hane'" which means not literal translation, but it means before you do anything, say a prayer.  March 23rd, 2010, my dad passed away.  My dad may not have been the most perfect dad.  Heck! Who really is the perfect parent?!?!?!  I know I am not the perfect parent,  I may not bake, not a good cook, on time all the time, oh and the list goes ON AND ON!  However, I know that I love my son and my love is unconditional and I parent to the best of my ability.  One thing I absolutely know for certain, about my dad is that he loved his family, loved my mom, but most importantly, was a God fearing, God loving man.  Regardless of how terrible he felt, if you asked how he was feeling, he would always say "thanks God,!" Looking up, and being grateful.

This evening on my walk, I was thinking about the few months preceding my dad's passing.  My Colonel was deployed, I had only been with my employer for 6 months, my miracle boy was only 6 years old.  My mom had the burden of trying to take care of all of us, work full time and to be the full time care-taker for my dad.  She is the strongest woman I know.  She didn't want to lose her job, so she would still work at the care center and when she was home, her tiny little frame would lift my dad in and out of bed to get him to his radiation treatments, change him, bathe him, be his nurse.  She was always worried she was going to hurt him or not give enough of herself.  Even though she would never admit it, you could see fear in her eyes and her strength slowly being depleted.  She kept on going, never complaining.  Always hopeful!  Always prayerful!

We knew it was almost time from the hospice care that the time was quickly approaching. The night he passed my siblings and I were gathered at my parent's home.  My Colonel was going to request a leave, but this deployment was a challenging one for both of my boys. He was only two months away from being home permanently, and I didn't want to see both of their hearts broken to see each other for a brief period and have to be apart again.  So, I asked if he would please stay where he was and come home when his time was up.  The night of my dad's passing, he kept on fighting and hanging on, we thought there was still unfinished business.  My colonel called late that night and told him we were all going to be ok, he would take care of my miracle boy, me and my mom.  After that call, I needed to go home and pick up miracle boy from my awesome neighbors who were watching him. As soon as I drove away, my brother (the older one) called to say my dad had passed. I was sad that he was no longer on this earth, but so happy for my dad knowing that he was in heaven!!  Knowing that he was no longer in pain.  Knowing he was no longer suffering.

Honestly, I am not even sure why I am sharing all this with you?!?!  But I think it's because I want to share with you God's faithfulness. God was always with me getting through this time, he was faithful to me then and he is faithful always!  The more we trust in him, the easier it is to get through some of the really tough stuff we go through in life.  Just because we have faith, doesn't mean our life is going to be easy!!  It does however mean we all have HOPE!  We can do tough with God on our side!  

I hear people setting big goals for success!! They want to be mega something!!  Make money, be mega status, you name it!  If there is anything MEGA I want to become is to give it all back to GOD in a MEGA WAY!!  Anything I have ever achieved in my life is NOT because of me but because of HIM and what he has done!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRsl2slaDLw  (click the link)That's why I love this song!  I can NEVER say enough to THANK YOU!"

This song is also another one worth listening to!!  Please take a minute to check it out and let's not get too busy and let's not take for granted all the blessing already in our lives!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1mMgPA0iJE&sns=fb  (Click the link to hear)"Every Good Thing"

I hope the best for you!  I hope we never take for granted all the good things in our lives!  
Happy Good one!  Thanks God you are in my life!

"Let them see you in me"

This is the life I want to live!  I want to live life showing the LOVE of GOD in me!

Good morning my beautiful loved ones!

It's SUNDAY!  "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad"!  This has been a very busy week, yet there were so many moments that I had to stop, reflect and be completely grateful for my life, and those in my life who make this journey so incredible!

Friday was a very interesting day.  I didn't think that the day would have any thought provoking moments, yet it did all around.  I started early morning with a meeting at the Intermountain Donor Services, talking and preparing for the Donor Dash in August.  We were introduced to the team of ladies who are in charge of putting the Transplant Olympics here in Utah in 2018.  I am so excited for this to come to Utah!  I am so excited to not only volunteer but want to participate in as many events as I possibly can.  Why do I want to do this?  #1 because I CAN!!  #2 because it is being held in August, 2018 and my new life,with my beautiful new heart, my transplant date was August 27, 2016. This makes me want to participate in the events even more.  I have a weird feeling that my donor would want me to participate, but that's probably just my selfish, personal motivation, I am sure.  LOL!  My girlfriend who has been the foundation, my core for over 25 years is also in this group of volunteers!  I love her amazing commitment to friendship, she is one of those women who would do anything for her friends.  I may have had the biggest heart literally, but she has the biggest heart full of LOVE.  I am also so grateful she is in this group because it gives me an opportunity to visit with her, even if it's in a meeting.  

Of course I needed to "DASH"  literally run out early to make sure I got to my work appointment and head up to our community in Park City for a few hours.  Park City is beautiful, it's God's country!  It's always SO VERY peaceful up there!  One of the guests on tour, saw the piano in one of the model homes and began to play and he played the piano beautifully .  We ALL have a human side even though we are in a business environment.  I admire, and respect people who are genuine and "real".  It just makes me want to be near them vs. those who don't show genuine "love" and are fake.  By the way, people can sniff out fake people. :) 

Our visit went well, and I got out of one car, jumped into another to go to the American Heart Association's GO RED FOR WOMEN luncheon.  Thanks to another girl friend of mine who is also always a giver!  She not only got me a seat on the POWER HOUSE TABLE, but encouraging me (ok, maybe stalked me a little to insure I would attend!  ;)  you know who you are and you know I am grateful you got me to attend).  As soon as I sat down in my chair, my most amazing Nurse Practitioner who has literally been with me since day one almost exactly 17 years ago, who was also in attendance came and gave me a hug.  I want to share with you the impact of seeing her at that event on Friday the 17th (St. Patty's Day).  Not only was she there 17 years ago almost to the date (yes, I learned about my heart failure condition right around Easter in 2000), she was the one last year , again almost EXACTLY a year ago who was wise enough to bring in the doc "my hero" now, not then, who would tell me it's time to talk transplant!  I also had the appointment at the transplant clinic the day before and "the hero" doc asking me my work out schedule?  I asked "why, is this a trick questions?" He said no, I am just wondering because you are the only patient we have who is losing weight on prednisone vs. gaining.   I had to tell him, "when I couldn't prove you wrong about needing a heart transplant, I was bound and determined to prove you wrong on the fat, hairy and depressed as side effect of the medication"  HAHAHAHA!  I am sure he thinks I am a snot!  But that's ok!  Again, I am who I am with all my flaws! LOL!  I am SO GRATEFUL to my "special" NP!  I am so grateful for my friend who knew for some reason I needed to be there on Friday.

Of course then I had to "DASH" to another meeting driving and taking pictures and gathering information.  While driving, I noticed how often I check my emails and texts and responding to those emails and texts.  I had this strange feeling come over me that immediately made me stop in my tracks and realize that I needed to STOP doing that and to put the phone in the back permanently!  I honestly got the weird vibe, texting or emailing while driving is perhaps how I got my new heart.  Sounds crazy because I have no clue, but just a totally crazy weird feeling!  So, friends, if you don't get an immediate response from me, it is likely I am driving and I will no longer be responding to texts and emails while driving.  I also noticed every time I do that, my emails have TONS of typos and that makes you lose credibility anyway ;)  NO MORE!

My friends, life is too short!  LIVE every moment with LOVE!  Be your true, ultra genuine, authentic, wonderful self!  Always be grateful!  Be a GIVER!  Live life to the fullest!  I am so grateful you took some time to read my blog.  Please let me know if you want me to share about anything specific and I am so happy to answer any questions you might have.

I know this was a long one, thanks for your patience and listening to me share my observations and feeling!  

Have an awesome week!!  

Love you!  Be YOU!  

Faith, Hope, Love
Claire

Milestone

What is your gift?

Hello to my amazing friends and family!

Do you often find yourself wondering what your purpose in life is?  Do you stand and ask God how you can serve him and what he wants for you to do?  I know I do!! We all think our meaning or purpose for life is to do something HUGE, something AWESOME, but is AWESOME and HUGE the same to us as it is for God?  Does he see "success" the same way we see "success"??  I have to tell you, I think that the answer to that is an absolute NO!  I think we have a totally different vision, but honestly, that is just my opinion and it's ok to agree or disagree.  

Almost a year ago, I was serving dinner at the Catholic Community Services in Salt Lake City.  As I was helping serve dinner, I kept on thinking "God, what is it you want me to do here?"  I kept on thinking that over and over.  Suddenly, one of the people there, asked me, "Do you always smile"?  I had been there a few times serving, but never in a row.  I thought about that for a second, and my quick response was "I guess I am always smiling".  That night as we were driving home, I thought to myself about that question, and realized maybe that was actually God's purpose for me.  The reason I tell you this, when we ask God to use us, we may not be the next Tim Tebow, we may not be the next Mother Teresa, but ours might just be to smile, or to listen or something that we think is so minor, but in God's eyes, it's AWESOME and it's HUGE!  So, please keep that in mind as you think of how you can serve God.

Also last year around this time, I began my journey towards my heart transplant.  This is right about the time it finally sank in that I wasn't doing "Great" like I was telling myself and the docs.  The next six months were probably the most uncomfortable and challenging time of my life.  I had SO MUCH going on in my head and trying so hard not to let anyone see all the things that were going on other than what I wanted them to see.  That in itself was probably the most challenging part, keeping the appearance that everything was the "Same as it ever was" yes, "The Talking heads" :)  You may ask yourself "How did I get here"?  What's actually even more funny is tomorrow is the BIG MILESTONE of six months post-transplant, and I ask myself again "My God, How did I get here"?  But this time, I know how I got here, I got here by the grace of God, I got here because I have friends and family who prayed, I got here because so many people took time to send prayers and their positive encouraging thoughts!  That's how I got here to the other side of the six months.  Thank YOU!  

I will find out this week how the six month results turn out, so please continue to pray and hopefully will also learn I might be able to travel, even just a little bit. :)  Can't believe how much I miss getting on a plane and getting away even for a weekend! 

The funny irony of the date August 27th, 2016 is it's almost exactly six months after all of the crazy talk started and February 27th will be exactly six months after the transplant and one year after the crazy talk started.  WOW!

Attitude is everything, and fortunately, our attitude is a choice and we make the choice every moment of our lives! Life is way too short not to enjoy the work we do.

I hit another milestone today!  I went skiing after taking a break from it for three years.  I had several excuses in my head why I couldn't go.  After skiing today, I realize maybe they weren't just excuses.  I would always complain that I hated being cold....well, with a good heart and good circulation, I actually was not as bitter cold as I would have ever been.  Another excuse was because I was out of shape, well with a good heart, that changes too.  Even if I was in shape, the elevation was kicking my butt, but with a good heart, the elevation was not my enemy.  This season, I had been telling myself all sorts of excuses why I didn't want to go, the biggest reason was that I was scared.  Well, today, i think I conquered that fear!!  I looked outside and thought "if I don't go on a beautiful day like today, I am never going to go"!  So I went!  My colonel was the most patient teacher ever!  It was outstanding conditions (for a fair weather skier like myself :)  No, I am not ready to buy a season pass, and no because I went up and had a good time doesn't mean I didn't fall on my butt a few times, but I DID IT!  WOOHOOOO!!!  If I can get back on that mountain, anyone can do it!!  

I am SO GRATEFUL for a new chance a t LIFE!!!  I am So, so grateful to all those always cheering me on and loving me with all my flaws!!!  I cannot say thank you enough for your love, your prayers and your positive thoughts!!  I am SOOOOO grateful to the donor family who was willing to give me a future by giving me the gift of life!!

With so much love, have an awesome week!  Do something that scares you!  STEP OUT OF THAT BOX!!  YOU CAN DO IT!!!  #MAKE IT HAPPEN!!

Faith, Hope and LOVE!

Claire

P.S. YES, I do know the last paragraph is messed up a bit, but oh well! :) 

"Die Another Day" or "The Beat Goes On"

My Life Mantra!

Good Morning!  

Happy January 30!  (almost, the end of January!)  Do you find yourself wondering when the month of January will come to an end?  With the Utah inversion, the snow that keeps on coming down and the traffic you encounter while traveling or driving in the snow storms?  It really does feel good when we get through the month of January!  It's great to know that February is the shortest month of the year and will bring us one step close to SPRING!  LOL!  One might guess, winter is NOT my favorite time of the year.  Nonetheless, I am ALWAYS grateful that in Utah, we do experience all four seasons.

January 30th, 2016 was probably the day that changed my life forever but on that day, I had now idea.  I just took it as another day.  A day however, when I reflect back, I knew there was something wrong, but didn't want to make a big deal of it both to the people I was with in Yellowstone, my family/friends and to myself.  We had after all gotten the lottery to snowmobile Yellowstone, something very few people get to do and it was a gorgeous day!  So, why be a fun sponge!  I would NEVER want to be the fun sponge :)

On January 30th, I had what is called a V-Fib.  Not to bore you, but here is the definition of Ventricular Fibrillation: 

Ventricular fibrillation: is when multiple cardiac pacemaker cells in the ventricles are firing simultaneously in a disorganized manner, thus there is no organized contraction of the ventricles, which in turn leads to ineffective contraction of the ventricle, and lack of adequate circulation to the body. V-fib is ALWAYS pulseless (unless the person has a ventricular assist device, then they may present alert or with decreased mental status), the person is dead, although initially they may have seizure activity followed by a period of agonal breathing. They need unsyncronized defibrillation. 

Needless to say, it was seriously a miracle that I made it out of Yellowstone alive on that day!  I think God decided he wasn't ready for me to be up there yet.  LOL!  Just a little too much loudness :)  With my laugh at least! RIGHT?  I will always have that on my mind when going through trials or "opportunities".  I know that GOD has been with me through the good times and the tough times and he will never leave me!  Even in the last breath I take, he will be at my side comforting me.  There is nothing on earth that I can experience that he hasn't orchestrated, so I trust everything that happens.  

January 27th, 2017 I celebrated five months with this wonderful new version of me with this amazing new heart.  I am so grateful that God has this whole thing orchestrated so perfectly.  I praise the lord every day when I am walking, working out, doing things that before I thought were normal that I was light headed, dizzy, barely catching my breath.  Every day I am at the gym working out, all that runs in my head is "THANK YOU GOD!  THANK YOU GOD!"  PLEASE TELL MY DONOR THANK YOU!  Please make sure they know how grateful I am.  I pray that I can meet them in heaven someday and thank them in person!!

I hope you have an incredible week!  Please know that Friday February 3rd is National Go Red for Women Day!  This is a day regardless of your loyalties to the Utes or the Cougars, PLEASE WEAR RED!  1 out of 3 women dies of heart disease and 80% of heart disease is preventable.  The heart disease I had, ARVC or ARVD is part of the 20%.  So, wear RED to show that heart disease does happen to women.  Heart disease does not discriminate.  

 Thank you so much for tuning in to this blog!  Thank you for your continued prayers.  I hope you have a wonderful week!  God Bless!

Faith, Hope, Love!

Claire

  

Welcome The New YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!!

I want to re-post what I posted on Facebook on New Year's to start this blog, because it's really how I feel about the end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017.

As we finish up 2016 and prepare to celebrate a NEW beginning with the New Year, 2017, I must say 2016 has been the TRUEST definition of FAITH, HOPE and LOVE for me! FAITH: "Belief and trust and loyalty to God" (GOD has been so faithful to me throughout this amazing life of mine) HOPE: "To desire with the expectation of fulfillment" (One thing I have always had and will always have hope in my heart) and LOVE: A feeling or affection for a person. FAITH, HOPE and LOVE in the truest, form. #GODISGOOD#FAITHHOPELOVE #ThankYOU2016 #Welcome2017

I sit here today on January 1. 2017, at home, nursing a stinking cold waiting for my boys to come home.  Was last night my favorite New Year's Eve experience, without my boys at home?  Am I 100% happy they went without me, eventhough I was the won who got the lottery?????  Well, it really depends on the moment you ask me.  HAHA!  I am not going to lie and tell you that it was the best New Year's experience, it really actually stunk in some ways but looking back, it was actually also good in some ways. I was not able to go to Yellowstone with my boys and friends, I was able to watch the HALLMARK channel and really reflect on who I am and what I want to do when I grow up (which is really never! HAHAHA).  I was however, fortunate enough to have my wonderful mom at my side so that I wouldn't be alone.  What would the world do without moms?  More specific, what in the world would I do without my amazing mom!  SO, SO grateful to have the most awesome mom in the universe!

I keep telling myself that hey, it's just for a short period of time that I will miss out on things so that I can be well enough to enjoy THE REST OF MY LIFE!  Most of the time, I believe it, but let's just say, sometimes, I have pitty parties too.  LOL!  I AM HUMAN, YES! I FREAKING HAVE A PITTY PARTY HERE AND THERE!  The point is, I don't make it a habit to go there.  But woke up to this GREAT prayer this morning!  Yes, I saw it on FB, so FB does have some value, right?  LOL!  HAHAHA!

I also read something today in my devotional book that really stuck with me and I would love to share it with you.  

"Today, I will make a difference.  I will begin by controlling my thoughts.  A person is a product of his thoughts.  I want to be happy and hopeful.  Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful.  I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances.  Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark.  Today, I will make a difference".
I live this!  (Well, of course except during a pitty party!)  Nonetheless, this was the reminder I needed to always be hopeful and always be prayerful.  Because only when I pray and I can hear God's instructions and his plans for me!

As we begin 2017, let's make to most of our day!  I am forever grateful for all the friendships and all the love throughout 2016.  I am looking forward to all the blessings and opportunities God provides in 2017.

Faith, Hope and Love!

CHEERS to 2017! Here we go!  365 days to write our chapter!

Claire

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Tree of Life Draper, Utah

The Tree of Life in Nicaragua when we visited in 2012.  The year the Mayan Calendar ended. 

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

I hope you have all had an amazing Christmas weekend!  It's so great to spend time with family, friends and have a few days off to reconnect with loved ones and re-connect with our inner thoughts.  The family time, the love we share, the peace we seek and the memories we create are all wonderful things, but we cannot forget the reason for the season.  The reason for the season is to CELEBRATE the birth of our Savior Jesus!  The GIFT given to us from God.  

As I sit here and reflect 2016!  WOW!  I received another amazing gift!  A gift that is too good to be true and a gift that is way beyond me!  Way Beyond me! (click link to listen)This is a song that makes me think about this year!  I honestly still can't believe that it all happened as it did.  I can't believe I had a heart transplant?  It's really weird to think about it to be honest! I somehow think that I should be different, but I am the same person.  Which is a good thing, I guess or not???  hahaha!  That's why I really try not to think, I just keep going, keep busy!  Once again, back to my "Denial, not just a river in Egypt"!

We had a lot of Great moments and not so great moments in 2016.  The Miracle Boy got his Scuba Diving certificate, I received the gift of life with a new heart, my Rock can now be referred to as the Colonel received his promotion, my aunt and cousin from down under came up to visit us in November.  The sad note this year was that we lost The Colonel's uncle, he was battling cancer and is now at peace, I know that he was a great example to the Colonel, and was one of grandpa's best friends, it is very sad for those remaining.  We also lost our family dog "Lucky" also to cancer in December.  She was an amazing dog.  It's been a tough I have to admit.

As a family, we were planning on going to Africa, Egypt, Turkey etc. this December, unfortunately, those plans had to be cancelled since I can't leave the country for a year! On the brighter side, we can make plans to do it next year WOHOOO!  Hey, small price to be to be around for a long time, RIGHT?  I am all about counting my blessings!

As we were driving to my mom's house today, we reflected about CHRISTMAS being the only day most retail stores are closed, only to drive by Starbucks and realize that they are open??  WOW!  I do wish we weren't a society that was so caught up in being BUSY!  I am so guilty of that, but I wish I could step off and realize, it's OK to slow down and it's OK to be silent.  Someday, I will learn these things.  

It's ALMOST 4 months since my new heart.  At first, I was paying more attention to the things that really matter, as the date gets further and further,  I find myself back into the things that don't really matter.  I also find myself being a little more careless about hugging, germs etc.  Family matters, friends matter, time for self matters, listening to the intuition matters, and putting GOD first, matters.

I am not too funny today, a little more deep in thoughts.  Next time, with the NEW YEAR, I will be back to the funnies.  It's ok to be real sometimes.  

I love you and am so grateful that you are a part of my life!  I am so grateful to the prayers, the positive thoughts and the amazing support through the journey we call life.

Check out another fun song by Toby Mac.  Back seat Driver  (Click to listen)

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.  Keep Christmas in your heart ALL DAY and ALL YEAR!  One song for you that is a Christmas song.  Noel by Lauren Daigle (Click to listen)

Faith, Hope, Love!

Claire

What is your BASELINE!

Good Morning!

As we get a few snow flurries, I realize my love/hate relationship with snow!  I am not sure what it is for sure about snow, but I know how much I love that it makes everything look very pretty when it first comes down, and it seems to silence the chaos.  I would really enjoy it I think if I could just sit in front of a fire and drink hot tea and not move until the snow is all done.  On the other side, I know I have to drive in it and that is the part that makes me not love snow!  Right now however, it looks really pretty outside and I am going to allow myself to enjoy the moment.

We have officially kicked of the Christmas Season.  The trigger for me is an annual "girlfriend" Christmas party, followed by a Christmas Program at church.  My miracle boy was not in the program, but he was assisting in the sound booth!  That's totally what he loves to do!

My friends made me cry, tears of joy and overwhelming gratitude!  Having them in my life for over 26 years, it is pretty amazing!  We reminisced over our first Christmas get together at La Frontera.  Yours truly, yes that would be ME, went to 1300 EAST and of course the restaurant was 1300 WEST!  OY VE!  Memories with these ladies!  Never a dull moment!

My girlfriends decided we would make a contribution to help others out and rather than our usual gift exchange.  They decided since I had an exciting year this year, I should decide what organization we should donate to this year.  We decided instead of donating to  a big organized foundation, we would find someone who actually needs assistance, and make it personal.  We also decided that in 2017, each birthday the birthday girl would decide where we would be volunteering!  I am SO EXCITED to see what kind of good work we do in 2017!!  

Friday, I had my BASELINE tests.  This includes a right and left heart cath, a biopsy, an echo, an EKG, and blood work.  All in a mornings work.  They kept on telling me I would need a ride home.  I asked why?  They responded that I would need to be sedated!  NOT I, I SAID!  They listened and I did it all without sedation, thinking I would be done super fast and I could hurry out of there! HA!  NOT SO FAST!  You can drive wherever you want AFTER you lay still for two hours.........REALLY?  ME?  SIT STILL FOR TWO HOURS!  Why do they like to torture me like that?  HAHAHAHA!  I worked on my phone, until the battery died :(  Then I tried to get up and go, but I realized they had me hooked up to something! MY! MY!  The things they do to keep you there!  HAHAHA!  Praise the Lord, all results came out good and now we have a baseline from which to measure for years and years.

While I had my HERO doc there, I asked him about the call on August 27th at 5:00am.  I said, I was not fully awake when you called, did you say something about this heart was really supposed to go somewhere else?  He said, "it was really amazing how it all worked out for you to get this heart, with where you were on the list and how this geographically ended up working out was truly amazing"  I call it "BIG GOD"!  I call it, GOD'S AMAZING TIMING!  

As I have been out and about more and more around people, I have let my guard down a bit and getting back to my usual self.  I hope it's a good thing, and not a dangerous thing! I do know however, it feels good to be "normal" again.  Well, normal is over-rated!  I think I am wild, weird and extraordinary as all my friends are!  LOL!  Wouldn't have it any other way!

Faith, Hope, Love!  I hope you truly find the TRUE meaning of Christmas and don't get caught up in all the things that the media and AMAZON and all the stores want it to be!  I pray that you find the true meaning and appreciate PEACE and GRACE!

SO MUCH LOVE,  UNTIL NEXT TIME!

Claire