MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Tree of Life Draper, Utah

The Tree of Life in Nicaragua when we visited in 2012.  The year the Mayan Calendar ended. 

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

I hope you have all had an amazing Christmas weekend!  It's so great to spend time with family, friends and have a few days off to reconnect with loved ones and re-connect with our inner thoughts.  The family time, the love we share, the peace we seek and the memories we create are all wonderful things, but we cannot forget the reason for the season.  The reason for the season is to CELEBRATE the birth of our Savior Jesus!  The GIFT given to us from God.  

As I sit here and reflect 2016!  WOW!  I received another amazing gift!  A gift that is too good to be true and a gift that is way beyond me!  Way Beyond me! (click link to listen)This is a song that makes me think about this year!  I honestly still can't believe that it all happened as it did.  I can't believe I had a heart transplant?  It's really weird to think about it to be honest! I somehow think that I should be different, but I am the same person.  Which is a good thing, I guess or not???  hahaha!  That's why I really try not to think, I just keep going, keep busy!  Once again, back to my "Denial, not just a river in Egypt"!

We had a lot of Great moments and not so great moments in 2016.  The Miracle Boy got his Scuba Diving certificate, I received the gift of life with a new heart, my Rock can now be referred to as the Colonel received his promotion, my aunt and cousin from down under came up to visit us in November.  The sad note this year was that we lost The Colonel's uncle, he was battling cancer and is now at peace, I know that he was a great example to the Colonel, and was one of grandpa's best friends, it is very sad for those remaining.  We also lost our family dog "Lucky" also to cancer in December.  She was an amazing dog.  It's been a tough I have to admit.

As a family, we were planning on going to Africa, Egypt, Turkey etc. this December, unfortunately, those plans had to be cancelled since I can't leave the country for a year! On the brighter side, we can make plans to do it next year WOHOOO!  Hey, small price to be to be around for a long time, RIGHT?  I am all about counting my blessings!

As we were driving to my mom's house today, we reflected about CHRISTMAS being the only day most retail stores are closed, only to drive by Starbucks and realize that they are open??  WOW!  I do wish we weren't a society that was so caught up in being BUSY!  I am so guilty of that, but I wish I could step off and realize, it's OK to slow down and it's OK to be silent.  Someday, I will learn these things.  

It's ALMOST 4 months since my new heart.  At first, I was paying more attention to the things that really matter, as the date gets further and further,  I find myself back into the things that don't really matter.  I also find myself being a little more careless about hugging, germs etc.  Family matters, friends matter, time for self matters, listening to the intuition matters, and putting GOD first, matters.

I am not too funny today, a little more deep in thoughts.  Next time, with the NEW YEAR, I will be back to the funnies.  It's ok to be real sometimes.  

I love you and am so grateful that you are a part of my life!  I am so grateful to the prayers, the positive thoughts and the amazing support through the journey we call life.

Check out another fun song by Toby Mac.  Back seat Driver  (Click to listen)

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.  Keep Christmas in your heart ALL DAY and ALL YEAR!  One song for you that is a Christmas song.  Noel by Lauren Daigle (Click to listen)

Faith, Hope, Love!

Claire

What is your BASELINE!

Good Morning!

As we get a few snow flurries, I realize my love/hate relationship with snow!  I am not sure what it is for sure about snow, but I know how much I love that it makes everything look very pretty when it first comes down, and it seems to silence the chaos.  I would really enjoy it I think if I could just sit in front of a fire and drink hot tea and not move until the snow is all done.  On the other side, I know I have to drive in it and that is the part that makes me not love snow!  Right now however, it looks really pretty outside and I am going to allow myself to enjoy the moment.

We have officially kicked of the Christmas Season.  The trigger for me is an annual "girlfriend" Christmas party, followed by a Christmas Program at church.  My miracle boy was not in the program, but he was assisting in the sound booth!  That's totally what he loves to do!

My friends made me cry, tears of joy and overwhelming gratitude!  Having them in my life for over 26 years, it is pretty amazing!  We reminisced over our first Christmas get together at La Frontera.  Yours truly, yes that would be ME, went to 1300 EAST and of course the restaurant was 1300 WEST!  OY VE!  Memories with these ladies!  Never a dull moment!

My girlfriends decided we would make a contribution to help others out and rather than our usual gift exchange.  They decided since I had an exciting year this year, I should decide what organization we should donate to this year.  We decided instead of donating to  a big organized foundation, we would find someone who actually needs assistance, and make it personal.  We also decided that in 2017, each birthday the birthday girl would decide where we would be volunteering!  I am SO EXCITED to see what kind of good work we do in 2017!!  

Friday, I had my BASELINE tests.  This includes a right and left heart cath, a biopsy, an echo, an EKG, and blood work.  All in a mornings work.  They kept on telling me I would need a ride home.  I asked why?  They responded that I would need to be sedated!  NOT I, I SAID!  They listened and I did it all without sedation, thinking I would be done super fast and I could hurry out of there! HA!  NOT SO FAST!  You can drive wherever you want AFTER you lay still for two hours.........REALLY?  ME?  SIT STILL FOR TWO HOURS!  Why do they like to torture me like that?  HAHAHAHA!  I worked on my phone, until the battery died :(  Then I tried to get up and go, but I realized they had me hooked up to something! MY! MY!  The things they do to keep you there!  HAHAHA!  Praise the Lord, all results came out good and now we have a baseline from which to measure for years and years.

While I had my HERO doc there, I asked him about the call on August 27th at 5:00am.  I said, I was not fully awake when you called, did you say something about this heart was really supposed to go somewhere else?  He said, "it was really amazing how it all worked out for you to get this heart, with where you were on the list and how this geographically ended up working out was truly amazing"  I call it "BIG GOD"!  I call it, GOD'S AMAZING TIMING!  

As I have been out and about more and more around people, I have let my guard down a bit and getting back to my usual self.  I hope it's a good thing, and not a dangerous thing! I do know however, it feels good to be "normal" again.  Well, normal is over-rated!  I think I am wild, weird and extraordinary as all my friends are!  LOL!  Wouldn't have it any other way!

Faith, Hope, Love!  I hope you truly find the TRUE meaning of Christmas and don't get caught up in all the things that the media and AMAZON and all the stores want it to be!  I pray that you find the true meaning and appreciate PEACE and GRACE!

SO MUCH LOVE,  UNTIL NEXT TIME!

Claire

Three month Milestone!

My dearest friends,

I hope you had the most amazing Thanksgiving week!  We have so much to be grateful for! We are ALIVE and BREATHING!  If you are reading this, you have access to communication and some sort of electronic device.  We have a roof over our head and food to eat! Friends, family and loved one we cherish.  Most important, we have the knowledge that we are never alone.  Regardless of our journey here on earth, God is always with us and he is always faithful.

As we finish up the month of November, with gratitude in our heart, I know there are many who have a struggle during the holidays.  I want you to know YOU are not alone. Please know that you are loved and there are many who would love to be here including myself to help ease your pain.  This can be a lonely time for those who have lost a loved one.  Please know your grief and your loss do have a purpose.  I know it is difficult to see the bigger picture sometimes, but you are truly part of somebody else's puzzle.  I pray that your time is filled with love.

Today, November 27th, 2016 is a milestone for me in my recovery from my heart transplant.  Today marks three months post transplant.  To some of you, this is probably getting old, me sharing all of these milestone, but to me, this first year is all full of milestones.  It all started when I was told I would need a transplant , when I woke up from surgery, to removing the breathing tube, getting out of the hospital etc.  

Three months, is the day where some of the restrictions are slightly relaxed.  Although I went out and about last weekend, this is the day I should be cautiously allowing myself in crowds, going to church and restaurants.  Places where there may be folks I don't know and won't ask "Hey, You're not sick are you?  cause if you are, I better stop breathing" LOL! 

Let me explain a little bit of the why this restriction is so important and the reason for the auto-immunosupressants.  My new beautiful heart is a "foreign object" in my body. Your body is so smart, it wants to get rid of any "foreign object"  even if it's a life saving "foreign object"   It thinks it's some sort of an illness.... be it virus, bacteria, fungal etc. etc.  Therefore, right now, I don't have much of an immune system. I do take other medication that is in effort to give me protection against those ailments (fungal, bacterial, viral infections).  I may bend rules often but the one rule I will NOT bend, or break is my medication schedule! Those are non-negotiable in my eyes.

Needless to say, I didn't do any Black Friday or Thanksgiving Thursday shopping.  I have never been a fan! Everyone is out and about SHOPPING!  I am doing my best to stay AWAY! I think I will be doing all my shopping via internet (THANK GOODNESS FOR AMAZON.COM). I went out with my cousin, mom and aunt (aunt and cousin are visiting from Australia and they LOOOOVE to shop and I love spending time with them ;) and I spent my time outside the store because when there were more than 15 people in the there,  it felt super crowded. My hubby's favorite places to shop are KSL.com and Amazon.  I wish it was more of Amazon and less of KSL.  HAHA!  

My fears are a little weird at the moment.  When I have to touch a door handle to open it, I am concerned, when I shake hands, I am concerned, when I see kids around me I am concerned and a little nervous and anxious (they are full of little germs those darn cuties! hahaha!).  

As I am out visiting with friends and family, I know they are wondering what I will be like, will I be weak, frail, sick?  Do they have to be different around me etc.  I want you to know I am still ME!  I know that I had the same thoughts before, and it's ok to have those thoughts.  I know people are curious, and I am ok telling my story, but I really don't want it to be all about ME!  We ALL have something going on in our lives!  We ALL have a story! I sometimes feel like I am the elephant in the room.  (LOL!  Can it be a more attractive animal?  HAHAHA!).  Please feel comfortable, it's ok.  I know I am awkward at times too, just not knowing if people are sick of hearing about this or if they want to know the entire story.  I love you either way!  It's ok to ask or to move on....I am so ok with your decision.

Three months and LIFE IS GOOD and more importantly, GOD IS GREAT!  My next visit with the doctors, I will be doing what is called a "baseline".  This is a series of tests in addition to the Biopsy, blood work and echo they have been doing post-transplant.  I will share with you what it all entails!

LIVE LIFE OUT LOUD!  EVERY DAY IS A BLESSING!  Don't take anyone or anything for granted!  I heard this song on my way home from working out today and I LOVE THE SONG and I really, really hope you will listen to it and enjoy it!  It's called "IT'S GOOD TO BE ALIVE!"  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!   
https://youtu.be/4omFQJEAAVc

“I believe that when you do unto others, blessings come to you as well. If you don’t have a friend, be a friend. I you are having a bad day, make someone else’s day. If your feelings are hurt, heal those of another.”
Nick Vujicic, Life Without Limits

https://youtu.be/4omFQJEAAVc

Giving Thanks!

GRATITUDE!  A THANKFUL HEART IS A HAPPY HEART!!

Howdy friends!

'Tis the Season to say all the wonderful things we are grateful for!  Today is November 20th.  I am so grateful for the most wonderful gift God ever blessed our family with and that is our most amazing boy, our miracle boy!  He is truly the light of our lives!  God picked the most wonderful angel for us to parent during all of our time here on this earth.

Yesterday was 12 weeks post transplant.  I have been feeling great and decided that it would be ok to go to the University of Utah football game as a family!  The day was ABSOLUTELY perfect!  Beautiful weather!  Sunny, warm and everything this girl could ever want.  I may have only made it to one game this year and although they lost, it was still one of the most memorable games I have or will ever attend.

I also decided to be brave and go to church today!  I love my church family and love their prayers, their love and support for me and the entire family.  It is truly humbling to see people who care so much about others.

As I go out and about, I thought I would talk about answers to questions people seem to have.  So, here it goes!

Q.  Do you know your donor or any information about them.

A.  As grateful as I am for my donor and my donor family, it is not information that is given out freely.  The family has to seek out the recipient through the hospital.  The family lost a loved one and everyone grieves differently.  I respect whatever they decide.  If they want to seek me out, I will be available, otherwise, I respect their privacy and their wishes.  I will be sending them an anonymous letter letting them know how grateful I am but will not do any CSI investigating to find them.

Q.  Do you have any weird desires or food cravings after the transplant (possibly from the donor).

A.  I don't yet, but who knows maybe??  I use to dislike jogging/running and I actually really enjoy it now.  I was thinking at church yesterday, it sure would've been nice if my new heart gave me a singing voice?  NO?  Come on!  How awesome would THAT have been.

Q.  Why do you have to stay away from people when you feel so good?

A.   I am on a lot of auto-immunosupressants which have pretty much shut down the immune system.  So, I can easily get sick.  So, it's the germs from colds and other gunk going around,  especially this time of the year.

Q.  Why do you wear gloves when you might need to shake someone's hand?

A.  Germs

Q.  Do the auto-immunosupressants make you feel sick?

A.  Not sick, but one of them occasionally makes me a little more shaky or jittery, that one is the Tacro.  One of the others, prednizone (not really sure how to spell this right now.  I could go look at the bottle LOL!)  This one makes me retain water, makes me hairy (Did I mention I am Armenian and might be hairy already?) and be hungry all the time. Possibly makes me a little more impatient and irritable, bad driver....oh wait, that could just be ME and NOT the drugs, but I can blame it on the drugs, right?  HAHAHA! Otherwise, I am grateful that they keep me from the "R" word.

Q.  Why will you be able to travel?

A.  It's really one of those the docs will wait and see.  If everything continues as it has, I should be able to travel within the US in about 6 months from the date of transplant and POSSIBLY out of the country in a year (after August 27th) or so. :)  Also, did I mention our family LOVES to travel.  Travel to me now means going for a drive in Park City, Orem, and Ogden.   I know soon, that will change.

Q.  What are you physical limitations?

A.  NONE.  Only what I allow to listen to between my two ears.

Here are some things I think about.

GRATITUDE!  Almost 24/7 I am grateful for literally everything!  It's a little weird,  but yes, I am truly grateful for everything!

NERVOUS!  If you know me, you know I love to be around people.  This weekend, I was honestly scared and nervous and excited at the same time.  When we went into the stadium, I was SUPER NERVOUS!  I didn't want to make eye contact, wanted to hold my breath etc.  I don't want to get sick and people and germs make me nervous.  

CONFUSED!  I went to church today, I want to HUG people and say THANK YOU FOR PRAYING for me.  But I couldn't!  Again, I don't want to get sick.  I know it's for a short time, but it is SO AWKWARD!

APPREHENSIVE!  I often get nervous that this "feeling great" is the honeymoon stage.  But I also trust if it is the "honeymoon" stage, God will provide and get me through the "NOT SO HONEYMOON" stage, if there is such a thing.

When I see my scars and touch my scars, all I think about is "THANK YOU GOD for these scars and a chance to be here!  I know I TOTALLY do not deserve this, but so grateful of God's GRACE!"

I know that there are more, but right now, I am getting ready to start the new week!  If you have any questions, shoot me a message, I am happy to answer!  

Today is the Monday of Thanksgiving week!  I want to wish you a very happy THANKSGIVING!  Know that God is always with you!  Know that He has perfect timing, no matter what it is you are waiting for.  

Love to you and your family!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

XOXOXO

Claire

Leaving a legacy.....giving life!

GOOD MORNING!

We have had an incredible fall in Utah this year.  I know many skiiers are probably hating it, and the lack of moisture isn't the best thing for us, but it sure feels great to be able to take walks outside still while it's 66 degrees!  My wish list would be that it would stay like this until Jamuary 1st. :)  That would be a dream come true!!

I mentioned in one of my previous posts that we participated in the Intermountain Donor Services Organ Donor Dash on August 20th.  I received a letter a few weeks ago from Intermountain Donor Services, when I first saw the envelope with the return address I actually thought it may be the Donor family reaching out to provide information about the donor.  I have to admit, I was pretty nervous about the thought.  Was I ready?  Was I ready to learn about this person who gave me the biggest gift I could ever receive?  The gift of life?  I opened it, and realized it was a letter thanking me for putting a team together for the Donor Dash.  I immediately picked up the phone to tell them, they shouldn't be thanking me, I owed THEM the huge thanks and what I could do to help bring awareness to Donation.

I was invited to join them at a Volunteer training.  I recruited my good friend to join me and together we went to learn how we can be of service.  A few things I learned I didn't know and a few things, I did know.  Here are some facts you may want to know about.
1.  There are 3 Types of Donation (not including blood and Plasma Donation) 
a.  Living Donors (kidney, part of the liver etc.)
b.  Tissue Donors 
c.  Organ Donors

2.  Here are a few MYTHS why people resist being donors.  There are others.  VIsit www.idslife.org and learn more.  
a.  It's against my religion.  
Not one religion is of the belief that it is wrong to donate.
b.  If I say YES on my driver's license that I am a donor, they will not work to save my life. 
Doctors never know if you are or are not a donor.  The doctors who are trying to save your life are NOT the same doctors involved in trasplantation.
c.  They will take my organs before I am really dead.
Donations of organ and tissue are ONLY accepted following declaration of death by a doctor who is NOT involved in transplantation.It is the complete and irreversible loss of all brain functions, including the brain stem.  

Non-living Organ Donors must pass away at the hospital, on a ventilator, and it is usually from a traumatic brain injury.  This one I didn't know.  I thought they could revive the organ, but apparently, that's not the case.

One Donor can save NINE LIVES.  Imagine that, leaving a legacy by continuing life in others.  My thought on this is always, YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU!  I have been a donor since I was sixteen and will remain a donor forever.  Who knows, I may have something that will help save someone else's life.  I would LOVE to be able to pay it forward.

We all spoke about what brought us there to volunteer.  I heard from two families that were donor families.  These stories had a great impact on me that night.  One lost a 19 month old baby in a pond.  The parents hadn't even thought about donation of an infant.  They were asked if they wanted their child to be able to donate tissue and cornea etc. donors.  They willingly accepted and the mom has been a volunteer to bring awareness for about 6 years now.  

The other family lost their fifteen year old daughter almost a year ago now.  She had just received her driving permit and actually marked she wanted to be a donor.  She went to bed that night and did not wake up the next day.  Landon's parents were also donors so naturally they donated what was capable to donate.  They just expressed how much it meant to them to be able to continue Landon's life in others.  It was even more compelling to them that Landon had decided for herself to be a donor and made their decision even more confirmed.

I had a conversation with one of my co-workers who donated a kidney to his nephew.  He and I were wondering why people are so hesitant to donate.  We both talked about when he donated, he said he wanted to be available to donate again if necessary (not his kidney) Living donors can make such an impact.  There are so many people who die waiting.  Each day 100 people are added to the UNOS waiting list and every day approximately 20 people on the list die while waiting for a transplant.  YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU, so if you are not a donor yet, please register to be a donor.www.yesutah.org

As I mentioned in the beginning of the blog, it is a gorgeous day today!  Get out and enjoy it!  Soak it in and let life flow into you!  

Challenge yourself, love yourself, know that you are God's treasure on earth and he has great things planned for you!

Love,
Claire

Old Habits Die Hard!

Howdy, Howdy!

I hope you are fabulous!  I hope wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you are at peace knowing God is in control with all the "Opportunities" that come your way in life!

I was fortunate enough to be able to work from home the day that I came home from the hospital. I am so grateful they allowed me to do that because otherwise, I would have gone CRAY CRAY!  LOL!  I know you think I am some kind of "special" for thinking that way, but honestly, not being able to drive and see people, it was such a relief to do something some what normal while recovering.  Using my brain to resolve issues, talking to people I care about.  It really helped in the recovery!

In September, I also had to visit the hospital twice a week.  Mondays from Biopsy, echo and blood work and Thursdays for blood work and clinic visit.  Praise the Lord, September came and went with no signs of that scary "R" word.  THANKS GOD!  WOHOOO!

October was a little easier.  One visit per week,  One week is blood work and clinic and the following week is biopsy, echo and clinic.  Grateful that the biopsy is once every other week.  Between the scar tissue and some of the medication, my scars are taking longer to heal.  THe cool thing is, I get to see the stainless steal wires, holding my sternum together and the wire that goes down to my heart and also takes a tiny piece.  Modern Medical technology is AMAZING!  October also has been great!  NO "R" word!!  YEAH!!  Thanks GOD!!  

In the last two months, I have learned a few things about myself...well, ok ok, I have been reminded about myself.  LOL!.  I like to push the limits and I am always that person that likes to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.  This time, it got me in trouble.  OOPSIE!!  We went to Yellowstone week 4, and I made the mistake to tell my docs how awesome it was to go down a trail that I would not have done in the last few years pre-transplant.  It's always easy to go down, but not so easy to go UP!  This time, IT WAS!!  I was so excited to tell them how grateful I was......but I didn't realize Yellowstone was a NO GO!  My "CHIEF" Doc told me he was so disappointing and asked "What part of don't go out of town are you not understanding".  I felt horrible!  I rationalized why I could?!! In my head at least!  I had my scale, blood pressure cuff, thermometer etc all to show any early signs of the "R" word.  Apparently that was not enough :(.  It was so bad that he called my husband and told him it was bad!  So, we realized if it was important enough for him to call, we better take this more seriously than we have been.  YIKES!  

As you know following rules, is not my #1 strength!  LOL!  OOOPSIE!  Anyway, no Utah football games ALL season.  Can only go from Park City to Ogden and Orem.  HAHAHA!  I could complain, but seriously I totally CAN'T complain!  I am ALIVE and I have my WHOLE life ahead of me!  So I will just learn to listen, follow orders and be HAPPY TO BE ALIVE!  

Back to the office in October.  I guess with my excitement and renewed energy, I think in my head I was expecting something a little different.  Not sure what, but I think because it's year end, I need to figure out a way to infuse more positive energy!  

If you have been around me longer than 5 minutes you also know I am EXTREME!  If walking 3 miles a day is good, then I will walk 10, that's better for you....right?  HAHA!!  If low fat is good, FAT FREE is better??  If working is good, then let's work a lot!  Well, this is something that I have always done.  Since I have been home, I had been walking 10 miles a day, then thought, maybe I should do 15 on a Saturday, then I decided well I did 15, let's do 20 on Sunday??  After all that, my baby toe got SUPER bruised and blood blistered to the point that on Monday as I was finishing my miles for the day, I had to take off my shoes and finish my walk.  My wise hubby said...remember "Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD!"  Wise, wise words.  Something I struggle with and need to work on all the time. 

Although I am back to work FULL TIME and then some.  I also have to remember to take time to be still and listen to God's purpose for me.  To be given a gift like this (THANK YOU GOD, DOCS and DONOR/DONOR FAMILY) is not taken lightly by me!  I want to fulfill God's purpose!

As I sit here drinking my tea and ponder the week ahead, I am giving myself a goal this week not to be extreme and to take time to listen to those who love me that are giving me advice.  

Take time to live life with PASSION!  Don't half ass anything!  Be the best version of you!  Give GRACE to others and God shows us GRACE.

Love you and wish you an amazing week!  

Claire

Bell Canyon week 6!!

Home again, home again, Jiggity jig!

"Nothing is impossible with God"

Howdy, howdy!  It feels like it's been forever since I sat down and wrote and said HELLO!

I hope you are doing absolutely AMAZING!! I would love to hear how YOU are doing!!  

September 6th was a huge day! My first post-transplant biopsy.  A biopsy is the only way at this point to know if my old body and my new heart are playing well together.  Tonight, I go to sleep in peace knowing GOD is always in control and always faithful!  I pray for good results. I'm in awe and grateful for all the love and prayers from family friends and loved ones.  I praise God for his timing, and the people who are in my life just for the right reasons at the right time.  I truly pray I am a good servant and doing his work!!  It's not about me, it's all about GOD!  

This was also the day we met with one of the Transplant nurses with my "HOME TEAM" my hubby, mom and miracle boy and learn all the do's and don'ts.  So, here are is the list and I also want to share with you some of the questions I had and answers in case someone is reading this who may have a similar experience. So here are the DO's and don't's.

1.  Can't be around anyone or anything that will jeopardize immune system.

2. can't be around people who have had a live vaccine

3.  can't pick up dog poop

4.  No cats

5.  No crowds for 3 months

6.  No traveling away more than 2 hours at least the first 3 months

7.  must wash fruits and veggies

8.  NEVER miss your meds EVER!!

9.  No hair color till you are lower than 10mg Prednozone 

10.  No Raw meat including SUSHI  AYE!!

11.  No travel outside the country for at least a year

12.  Don't be around kids (they have germs) 

13.  No driving for 6 weeks

14.  No hot yoga

15.  No hot tubs

16.  No elective surgery (one year) Yes, this includes the crowns I have been waiting for over a year now.

17.  No sun!  The sun is no longer my friend!  

18.  No public pools for a while

19.  Must have two forms of contraception 

20.  no waxing-  By the way, you get SUPER hairy with Prednozone (It's all about sterile environment)

21. Intimacy?  you ask?  I know I wondered.  Yes, if you enjoyed before, you still will. :)

September 7, 2016, the day I was released to come home.  Unfortunately, my mom and hubby thought it was important to let them know about my diet.  No dairy or grains. Got the lecture that I need to eat from all food groups.  Sheesh!  So, I had to wait for a second visit from the nutritionist before leaving the hospital!  NICE!  Doing my best to eat from ALL food groups.  No food group left behind!!

My Hubby was super nervous about making me sick!  I don't want him to be nervous!  I want to be very cautious, follow all the rules, but know God is in control of this ship and not us!  I hope he gets there too!  It will make his life easier!  I sure love this man!!  

Finally got home Wednesday evening!  So many emotions going on!  So excited to be home with my boys, anxious to get life moving, but also knowing I need to make sure I take it easy too!!  The statement "take it slow" is NOT in my vocabulary!  Praise the lord for all his blessings!  He is so, so faithful!!  I honestly can't imagine my life without him in charge!!  It took a little while to get out of the hospital with the training, nutrition, pharmacy etc.  

I am so grateful for the IMC team!! All the nurses were wonderful!  Ashley the jazzercise instructor, Pablo the most awesome tech who knew I needed conditioner, towels you name it he had it ready for my shower before I even asked!!  What a blessing!! Marco in the night making sure he scheduled his vitals that I would at least get a few solid hours of sleep!!  Again!  I praise the lord for all these people!  I seriously have the DREAM TEAM when it comes to the heart failure/ heart transplant team.  Between the Chief, the Hero and all their staff, I could Not ask for a better group of people.

Rock and Miracle Boy went to AWANA, mom and I went for a nice walk, then had dinner and mom went home.  Then came time for my first real shower.  I saw my full body naked in a full length mirror with all the bruises, stitches and of course my Steroid belly!!!  What a sight to see!  I was so glad I didn't feel the way I looked because looking at my body with all my bruises, you would have thought I got hit by a truck.  I had to pause for a moment and remind myself, it has not even been two weeks since my surgery!!!  One day at a time!  I am not going to worry about vanity!! I am only going to worry about recovery right now!!  So be it!  I have bruises, scars and a full belly! Lol!  Let it be!!  It was the BEST shower I have EVER had!  

Thank you lord for all the blessings in my life!!  

This was the first weekend at home!  The Utes were playing and again I couldn't be there but was TOTALLY there in spirit!  

I hope you have an amazing rest of the week!  Here is a song that I love to listen to just as a pick me up!  I hope you enjoy it!  https://youtu.be/Sxohx7IcN1Q

XOXOXO  Faith, Hope and LOVE!!  

Escape from ICU :)

Hello WEEKEND!  

To many of us, it's just another day of work, but to some,it's time to wind down from the week and potentially spend more quality time with family.  Whatever camp you are in, I hope you make the MOST of your time! Time will always keep going, it's important we make the right decisions on how we fill that time.

Thursday, September 1st was the first University of Utah Football game.  If you know me well, you know that I am a Utah Alumni and a Utah Football fan.  This was the first Season Opener I had ever missed.  A good friend delivered some wonderful Utah gear to help me still make it a fun night. What an amazing surprise and so, so generous!! Of course the T.V. in my room didn't have the game.  I did however have "I dream of Genie" and several other shows I hadn't seen in years!  LOL!  I did get a good play by play from the "Rock" and "Miracle Boy".  I made them go so they could cheer!!

I was feeling super good, so from day one when I saw my docs, I asked "ok, so when do I get to go home"?  HAHAHA!!  You know I am that pain in the rear patient!  Everyone was super nice, but I felt like I was in prison!!  I needed someone to watch me while I walked the halls to make sure everything was good.  The new medication and the surgery, made me super bloated!  I would look at my legs and wonder, OH MY HELLEN!  Is this the way I am going to always look?  YIKES!  Then I reminded myself to focus on being grateful for being alive and having a chance to see my son graduate, potentially be a grandma to spoil the grandchildren (HAHA) and be around for my family.  I could figure out a way later to lose all this excess water weight if necessary.

What I really, really wanted was to freaking put on some UNDERWEAR and drink some COFFEE! Sheesh!  Is that too much to ask for?  HAHAHAHA!!  I finally asked the nurse if I could put on underwear and my doctor if I could drink some coffee and they both said YES! WOHOO!! That made my new heart super happy!!  I am sure all the people in the hall were REALLY happy too!  HAHAHA!  I am sure they got tired of my derriere! HAHAHA!

Friday. September 2nd, I was moved out of ICU. HOT DANG!!!   From room S208 to room 427. My really good wise friend talked some sense into me today.  He said "you're looking at this as a prison, you need to look at this like a spa and enjoy being pampered and relax and catch up on movies you've always wanted to watch.  "Just enjoy the journey". My wise wise friend.  So, with his little pep talk I turned my prison attitude a new attitude!  

Labor Day!  Great day!  Mom and "ROCK" have been visiting daily, and "Miracle Boy" every other day!  I am so fortunate to have these three amazing human beings in my life. My fear of not being able to hug my "Miracle Boy" before the transplant was gone.  I hugged him the first minute I saw him!  I couldn't help myself!  "Rock's" parents wanted to come and help "Rock" and family.  Since Rock was not able to work at the cabin the weekend of the new heart, They went to the cabin to work.  They came back from the cabin and they came to visit this evening.  I sure love them so much!  I feel their overwhelming love flowing into me.  I no longer needed someone to escort me on my walks, so I started walking 3 miles a day once I left ICU.  It's almost not worth counting anymore!  Lol Walking around in a hallway in circles 36 times.  WOHOO!  JOY!  I got to know the nurses. I took the time to write thank you cards to the nurses and doctors and delivered them.

I love my boys and my mom so much and so many others who have been so supportive, praying and sending their love!  I don't want to let anyone down!  I am going to obey the doctors rules and get out of here is what I thought!   It's also what I keep thinking because I am not a good rule follower.

Hope you all have an amazing weekend and remember to make the best of it!  

Love you and thank you for taking the time to read the blog!!

Claire

Journey to Recovery

Good Wednesday morning!  

I hope you are having an awesome week so far!  I really have to say, I miss being able to give people a hug!  Right now I am doing the fist bump and it feels so impersonal. If I run into you and I don't hug you, it's not because I don't want to, it's just another one of those rules for now.  Very soon, it won't be so extreme!!  Please don't take offense!  It sucks for me more than you can imagine!

I woke up August 28th with three tubes coming out of my belly, and a "Christmas tree" on my neck (lines of IV for my medication".  They had warned me about when I get out of surgery that I would have tons of tubes coming out, a pacer for my new beautiful heart to be strong and beat for a few days and hooked up to a lot of IV for the auto-immusosupressants, etc.  My sternum was all bandaged but not NEARLY the pain I expected.  

It was something, all right!  Rock and I had decided we wouldn't take pictures and we wouldn't have "Miracle Boy" there until the day after. HINDSIGHT, we both wish he (Rock) would've taken a picture, only so I could see how far I had come each day.  That Sunday, when people would tell me "how great I looked"  I was like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I look like POOP! LOL!  I looked like I had been hit by a truck, but I seriously felt SO GOOD even that day after.  I do wish we had a picture.  If you ever experience something like this, I would recommend take a picture, so you can see your progress as you heal. 

I didn't know it was against the rules for people to visit me, so between my mom, Rock and Miracle Boy, my uncle and a couple of others, I was told to keep the visitors to a minimum.  LOL!  Do they not know the social person I am? hehe!  How do I say no??

My AWESOME surgeon came in and I had a chance to visit with him.  He told me everyone in that surgery room kept on saying "that's the biggest one I have ever seen".....they meant the heart but of course I had to respond like an adolescent boy that doesn't know better...."That's what she said!"  HAHAHA!  I couldn't resist!  We had a good laugh.  He did such an amazing job!  He also mentioned there was PLENTY of room to fit my new hear since the old hear took so much space!  I am so grateful to him for cutting me open so carefully and putting me back together so great that I really wasn't in pain.

I honestly felt real good!  I didn't have to take pain medication.  I was told I'm a cheap date!!  HAHAHA! Sunday, I was a little sleepy, and my "activity was moving from the bed to the chair and back!  LOL!  Monday was better I got to take a walk and started walking at least a mile a day.  I did have to have a nurse or someone from Cardiac Rehab come with me ( "My walkers").  HAHAHA!  Tuesday I got the catheter out, Wednesday I got one of the chest tubes out and Thursday I got the last chest tube out.  Every day was less equipment to be attached to and more mobile!  

Needless to say, I did not make it to Monday's sales meeting that week. There is some irony here however.  The day I had my big V-FIB we had a grand opening in a new community, and the day I received my new heart was the grand opening of another community.  My first text to my boss of course was..."How was the grand opening, and I am so sorry I wasn't there".  Oh, Yes, I can be a little cuckoo, but, knowing is half the battle.

Everyone has been so supportive and so amazing!  I seriously can't believe the love pouring into me! Please understand, It's not me though, it's really all God!  Regardless of WHAT happens, God is in control and I am here to work his plan no matter what that plan is!  I will abide!

I daily read this little book "God's Promises, Day by Day".  It's daily inspirational thoughts. Here is the day of the surgery August 27th:

"The peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:7

August 28th:

"You are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." Colossians 2:10

Here is a good song for you to keep your faith strong and "Let go and let God"  Lauren Daigle.  "I will Trust in You"
https://youtu.be/qv-SXz_exKE

For now, PEACE OUT!  Have an awesome day!  

 Stay tuned "escape from ICU"  HAHAHHAHAHA!

XOXOXO

Faith, hope, love!

Claire

The day of the CALL! New Heart New beginning!

"THE PEACE OF GOD, WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING, WILL KEEP YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS" PHILIPPIANS 4:7

Good Saturday morning to you!  WOW!  Today is exactly SIX weeks since I received the gift of life! I PRAISE GOD for this opportunity, I am so grateful for the Donor and the donor family,  So grateful for the doctors that got me this far!  I am in awe today as I start the day at all the amazing miracles and wonderful people in my life!!
https://youtu.be/wh-07BzfgYY   "It's a beautiful life" Ace of Base

The week of August 27th was not the most straight forward week.  Wednesday I had gone to my rhythm doctors and they noticed more sparks(shocks in the heart) and wanted me to wear a heart monitor.  I was not even going to go to this appointment, because what was the point after all?  I am on the transplant list, so I questioned the heart monitor until the kind docs said, we want to make sure you don't have a stroke before you get a new heart. I realized, they were only looking out for the best for me.  However, how do I hide THIS in my wardrobe?  How am I going to keep this heart monitor on the DL??

Then the day before the call, I had visited with my heart failure/heart transplant team and my "Chief Doc" who has been with me from the beginning and who I view as a completely intelligent and amazing person. He asked if I had a wake up call the week prior when I received the false alarm call. I replied "yes, I AM NOT READY, how do I get ready for this?" he responded with "Just live your life".  I love him and that's easy for him to say, but I needed a game plan, I thought.  

As I was leaving my office Friday night, dang, I should've at least tidied up the office!  HAHAHA!!  I looked up at the sky and told God, I seriously feel like David in the book of psalms.  I trust you with all my heart and soul and I know you have this, but please ease my anxiety.  Then came home to walk the dog with my mom and Andrew, "Rock" went to fix the cabin that weekend.  I said to my mom "after my transplant, if I want to whimp out anywhere before here, you just tell me to keep going" WEIRD TIMING!!

After being placed on the list, I always had my phone near me in case I got the call. The day I got the real call, August 27th, I was sleeping when I got the call at 5:00am.  It was very appropriate that it was "Hero Doc" that got the ball rolling. He mentioned that he called first and foremost to make sure that I'm in town, then tells me that I need to get to the hospital because they have the heart that would be perfect for me. My first response is "so you're going to call me back to confirm?"  He said no, "I want you to get to the hospital by 7:00 am." 

So, I quickly showered and went down to tell my mom I had to go, she asked "why are you going to the gym so early"?.  I said no, I have to go get my new heart.  We argued back and forth about who would drive and she finally won.  I called our wonderful friend and neighbor who I knew I had to tell in case of My ROCK not being in town since he did travel often.  I told her it was time and if she could pick up Miracle Boy and have him spend the day at their house?  Even though it was super early, this angel ran to our house to pick him up!  I woke Miracle Boy to tell him mom was going to go get her new heart and he needed to get dressed to go to our friends house for the day.  Miracle Boy was the bravest, most comforting 12 year old, ever!!  He gave me a big hug and said "mom is getting a new heart, I'm so happy" I think he was the most excited and bravest of us all!  I hurried and called Rock, but went to voice mail.  We finally talked!  He turned a 4 hour drive into a 2 hour drive and was at my side by 10:00am.  

Mom and I drove to the hospital, first got on a wrong elevator, then ended up in the surgery area where the nurse who guided us to the right place said "we never have a heart transplant patient walk into the OR space prior to transplant".  Here I am again being a first.  The nurses and everyone  kept asking who I was and I looked too good to need a transplant.  I agreed, but said I'm supposed to be getting registered and prepped and in room S208.  

I needed to take a scrub shower, so I went to the shower and somehow my stupid hearing aid piece got stuck again.  So the nice tech was able to help me get it out.  What a crazy few hours!  I didn't realize till I started getting texts etc that my cute friend had sent a prayer request on fb.  I was overwhelmed by the love and the prayers, that is really what got me through this whole day!  I still wasn't sure however if it was going to happen.  Not to be graphic, but they don't know 100% till they open up the donor.  Josh and Ivy were the nurses that day and took good care of me!  Met the awesome surgeon, the anesthesiologist and the team that would be working on me later that day.  

My brother (just younger than me) was there with my mom and Rock the entire time.  I kept on telling him to go enjoy his day, but he stayed.  Our Pastors came and we prayed several times together.  My uncle came and we prayed together.  I hope the nurses and docs trying to see me and get me prepped were somehow influenced by all the prayers as was my brother.  I love him to pieces and HE is one that I really wish would "LET GO AND LET GOD"  He worries so much about everything.  I wish he would just have faith that God has it all under control.

Dr. Hero had to turn off my defibrillator because that was also coming out during this transplant!  Yeah!!  Thank you to Dr. Hero for taking such great care of me! I'm not sure if I would've gotten a transplant if it wasn't for his gift to see how sick my heart and my body were.  My anesthesiologist,  Raul had to put my IV in because nobody else could get my veins to work.  Which is SUPER funny, because my veins usually jump out, but I guess they were super shy that day!  HAHAHA!  Anything on me shy?  hmm.  I was adamant about getting pictures of my old heart. The doctors have been talking about how HUGE my heart is that I really needed to see that!  "Rock" reminded me before going to surgery, that I needed to ask to get pictures before Raul touched me and he was so right!!  As soon as Raul touched my forehead, I was out like a light!

I was taken into surgery around 2:00pm, they cut me open at 2:40, apparently, the heart was a good match. I woke up around 7:00pm initially, but really more like 10:00pm!  Still mostly under Anastasia but trying to get breathing tube out of me. I kept on trying to talk and ask if the new heart was actually in me.  They kept on telling me not to talk. SERIOUSLY?  Me not talk?? HAHAHA!  WHo are they talking to?  They did tell me yes, that I had the new heart in me!    

We tried and tried to remove that AWFUL breathing tube, but I kept on falling asleep😁. We thought about giving it up a bit, but then just kept on trying and went for it and got it done.  My nurse Joann was so freaking amazing! She seriously is a saint!  God really put her there on purpose!  She had music on, she danced we wohoo'd!!  She was seriously the perfect nurse for me that night!!  Thanks God!!  God orchestrated his entire thing so perfectly!  I am so grateful for his love, mercy and grace!!

That was six weeks ago TODAY!  If you don't want to see images, please stop reading now. Otherwise, here are pictures of my old heart.  I will also put a picture of what a good healthy heart is supposed to look like.  Although it is NOT the one in my body.  

I want to thank you again for your love and prayers!  GOD IS SO, SO GOOD!!  

"HE WHO LOVES ME WILL BE LOVED BY MY FATHER, AND I WILL LOVE HIM" JOHN 14:21
Here is an interview with my good friend Rochelle Owens.  Take a listen if you haven't already.  XOXOXOXO http://www.rochelleowens.com/journal/let-go-let-god

My OLD Heart-  That big blob is all FAT and the Right side of my heart

A HEALTHY HUMAN HEART- NOT MINE JUST A PIC SO YOU CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE

THIS IS MY OLD HEART IN MY CHEST

 6 weeks, trying out an old costume with scars and all!