Old Habits Die Hard!

Howdy, Howdy!

I hope you are fabulous!  I hope wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you are at peace knowing God is in control with all the "Opportunities" that come your way in life!

I was fortunate enough to be able to work from home the day that I came home from the hospital. I am so grateful they allowed me to do that because otherwise, I would have gone CRAY CRAY!  LOL!  I know you think I am some kind of "special" for thinking that way, but honestly, not being able to drive and see people, it was such a relief to do something some what normal while recovering.  Using my brain to resolve issues, talking to people I care about.  It really helped in the recovery!

In September, I also had to visit the hospital twice a week.  Mondays from Biopsy, echo and blood work and Thursdays for blood work and clinic visit.  Praise the Lord, September came and went with no signs of that scary "R" word.  THANKS GOD!  WOHOOO!

October was a little easier.  One visit per week,  One week is blood work and clinic and the following week is biopsy, echo and clinic.  Grateful that the biopsy is once every other week.  Between the scar tissue and some of the medication, my scars are taking longer to heal.  THe cool thing is, I get to see the stainless steal wires, holding my sternum together and the wire that goes down to my heart and also takes a tiny piece.  Modern Medical technology is AMAZING!  October also has been great!  NO "R" word!!  YEAH!!  Thanks GOD!!  

In the last two months, I have learned a few things about myself...well, ok ok, I have been reminded about myself.  LOL!.  I like to push the limits and I am always that person that likes to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.  This time, it got me in trouble.  OOPSIE!!  We went to Yellowstone week 4, and I made the mistake to tell my docs how awesome it was to go down a trail that I would not have done in the last few years pre-transplant.  It's always easy to go down, but not so easy to go UP!  This time, IT WAS!!  I was so excited to tell them how grateful I was......but I didn't realize Yellowstone was a NO GO!  My "CHIEF" Doc told me he was so disappointing and asked "What part of don't go out of town are you not understanding".  I felt horrible!  I rationalized why I could?!! In my head at least!  I had my scale, blood pressure cuff, thermometer etc all to show any early signs of the "R" word.  Apparently that was not enough :(.  It was so bad that he called my husband and told him it was bad!  So, we realized if it was important enough for him to call, we better take this more seriously than we have been.  YIKES!  

As you know following rules, is not my #1 strength!  LOL!  OOOPSIE!  Anyway, no Utah football games ALL season.  Can only go from Park City to Ogden and Orem.  HAHAHA!  I could complain, but seriously I totally CAN'T complain!  I am ALIVE and I have my WHOLE life ahead of me!  So I will just learn to listen, follow orders and be HAPPY TO BE ALIVE!  

Back to the office in October.  I guess with my excitement and renewed energy, I think in my head I was expecting something a little different.  Not sure what, but I think because it's year end, I need to figure out a way to infuse more positive energy!  

If you have been around me longer than 5 minutes you also know I am EXTREME!  If walking 3 miles a day is good, then I will walk 10, that's better for you....right?  HAHA!!  If low fat is good, FAT FREE is better??  If working is good, then let's work a lot!  Well, this is something that I have always done.  Since I have been home, I had been walking 10 miles a day, then thought, maybe I should do 15 on a Saturday, then I decided well I did 15, let's do 20 on Sunday??  After all that, my baby toe got SUPER bruised and blood blistered to the point that on Monday as I was finishing my miles for the day, I had to take off my shoes and finish my walk.  My wise hubby said...remember "Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD!"  Wise, wise words.  Something I struggle with and need to work on all the time. 

Although I am back to work FULL TIME and then some.  I also have to remember to take time to be still and listen to God's purpose for me.  To be given a gift like this (THANK YOU GOD, DOCS and DONOR/DONOR FAMILY) is not taken lightly by me!  I want to fulfill God's purpose!

As I sit here drinking my tea and ponder the week ahead, I am giving myself a goal this week not to be extreme and to take time to listen to those who love me that are giving me advice.  

Take time to live life with PASSION!  Don't half ass anything!  Be the best version of you!  Give GRACE to others and God shows us GRACE.

Love you and wish you an amazing week!  

Claire

Bell Canyon week 6!!

Home again, home again, Jiggity jig!

"Nothing is impossible with God"

Howdy, howdy!  It feels like it's been forever since I sat down and wrote and said HELLO!

I hope you are doing absolutely AMAZING!! I would love to hear how YOU are doing!!  

September 6th was a huge day! My first post-transplant biopsy.  A biopsy is the only way at this point to know if my old body and my new heart are playing well together.  Tonight, I go to sleep in peace knowing GOD is always in control and always faithful!  I pray for good results. I'm in awe and grateful for all the love and prayers from family friends and loved ones.  I praise God for his timing, and the people who are in my life just for the right reasons at the right time.  I truly pray I am a good servant and doing his work!!  It's not about me, it's all about GOD!  

This was also the day we met with one of the Transplant nurses with my "HOME TEAM" my hubby, mom and miracle boy and learn all the do's and don'ts.  So, here are is the list and I also want to share with you some of the questions I had and answers in case someone is reading this who may have a similar experience. So here are the DO's and don't's.

1.  Can't be around anyone or anything that will jeopardize immune system.

2. can't be around people who have had a live vaccine

3.  can't pick up dog poop

4.  No cats

5.  No crowds for 3 months

6.  No traveling away more than 2 hours at least the first 3 months

7.  must wash fruits and veggies

8.  NEVER miss your meds EVER!!

9.  No hair color till you are lower than 10mg Prednozone 

10.  No Raw meat including SUSHI  AYE!!

11.  No travel outside the country for at least a year

12.  Don't be around kids (they have germs) 

13.  No driving for 6 weeks

14.  No hot yoga

15.  No hot tubs

16.  No elective surgery (one year) Yes, this includes the crowns I have been waiting for over a year now.

17.  No sun!  The sun is no longer my friend!  

18.  No public pools for a while

19.  Must have two forms of contraception 

20.  no waxing-  By the way, you get SUPER hairy with Prednozone (It's all about sterile environment)

21. Intimacy?  you ask?  I know I wondered.  Yes, if you enjoyed before, you still will. :)

September 7, 2016, the day I was released to come home.  Unfortunately, my mom and hubby thought it was important to let them know about my diet.  No dairy or grains. Got the lecture that I need to eat from all food groups.  Sheesh!  So, I had to wait for a second visit from the nutritionist before leaving the hospital!  NICE!  Doing my best to eat from ALL food groups.  No food group left behind!!

My Hubby was super nervous about making me sick!  I don't want him to be nervous!  I want to be very cautious, follow all the rules, but know God is in control of this ship and not us!  I hope he gets there too!  It will make his life easier!  I sure love this man!!  

Finally got home Wednesday evening!  So many emotions going on!  So excited to be home with my boys, anxious to get life moving, but also knowing I need to make sure I take it easy too!!  The statement "take it slow" is NOT in my vocabulary!  Praise the lord for all his blessings!  He is so, so faithful!!  I honestly can't imagine my life without him in charge!!  It took a little while to get out of the hospital with the training, nutrition, pharmacy etc.  

I am so grateful for the IMC team!! All the nurses were wonderful!  Ashley the jazzercise instructor, Pablo the most awesome tech who knew I needed conditioner, towels you name it he had it ready for my shower before I even asked!!  What a blessing!! Marco in the night making sure he scheduled his vitals that I would at least get a few solid hours of sleep!!  Again!  I praise the lord for all these people!  I seriously have the DREAM TEAM when it comes to the heart failure/ heart transplant team.  Between the Chief, the Hero and all their staff, I could Not ask for a better group of people.

Rock and Miracle Boy went to AWANA, mom and I went for a nice walk, then had dinner and mom went home.  Then came time for my first real shower.  I saw my full body naked in a full length mirror with all the bruises, stitches and of course my Steroid belly!!!  What a sight to see!  I was so glad I didn't feel the way I looked because looking at my body with all my bruises, you would have thought I got hit by a truck.  I had to pause for a moment and remind myself, it has not even been two weeks since my surgery!!!  One day at a time!  I am not going to worry about vanity!! I am only going to worry about recovery right now!!  So be it!  I have bruises, scars and a full belly! Lol!  Let it be!!  It was the BEST shower I have EVER had!  

Thank you lord for all the blessings in my life!!  

This was the first weekend at home!  The Utes were playing and again I couldn't be there but was TOTALLY there in spirit!  

I hope you have an amazing rest of the week!  Here is a song that I love to listen to just as a pick me up!  I hope you enjoy it!  https://youtu.be/Sxohx7IcN1Q

XOXOXO  Faith, Hope and LOVE!!  

Escape from ICU :)

Hello WEEKEND!  

To many of us, it's just another day of work, but to some,it's time to wind down from the week and potentially spend more quality time with family.  Whatever camp you are in, I hope you make the MOST of your time! Time will always keep going, it's important we make the right decisions on how we fill that time.

Thursday, September 1st was the first University of Utah Football game.  If you know me well, you know that I am a Utah Alumni and a Utah Football fan.  This was the first Season Opener I had ever missed.  A good friend delivered some wonderful Utah gear to help me still make it a fun night. What an amazing surprise and so, so generous!! Of course the T.V. in my room didn't have the game.  I did however have "I dream of Genie" and several other shows I hadn't seen in years!  LOL!  I did get a good play by play from the "Rock" and "Miracle Boy".  I made them go so they could cheer!!

I was feeling super good, so from day one when I saw my docs, I asked "ok, so when do I get to go home"?  HAHAHA!!  You know I am that pain in the rear patient!  Everyone was super nice, but I felt like I was in prison!!  I needed someone to watch me while I walked the halls to make sure everything was good.  The new medication and the surgery, made me super bloated!  I would look at my legs and wonder, OH MY HELLEN!  Is this the way I am going to always look?  YIKES!  Then I reminded myself to focus on being grateful for being alive and having a chance to see my son graduate, potentially be a grandma to spoil the grandchildren (HAHA) and be around for my family.  I could figure out a way later to lose all this excess water weight if necessary.

What I really, really wanted was to freaking put on some UNDERWEAR and drink some COFFEE! Sheesh!  Is that too much to ask for?  HAHAHAHA!!  I finally asked the nurse if I could put on underwear and my doctor if I could drink some coffee and they both said YES! WOHOO!! That made my new heart super happy!!  I am sure all the people in the hall were REALLY happy too!  HAHAHA!  I am sure they got tired of my derriere! HAHAHA!

Friday. September 2nd, I was moved out of ICU. HOT DANG!!!   From room S208 to room 427. My really good wise friend talked some sense into me today.  He said "you're looking at this as a prison, you need to look at this like a spa and enjoy being pampered and relax and catch up on movies you've always wanted to watch.  "Just enjoy the journey". My wise wise friend.  So, with his little pep talk I turned my prison attitude a new attitude!  

Labor Day!  Great day!  Mom and "ROCK" have been visiting daily, and "Miracle Boy" every other day!  I am so fortunate to have these three amazing human beings in my life. My fear of not being able to hug my "Miracle Boy" before the transplant was gone.  I hugged him the first minute I saw him!  I couldn't help myself!  "Rock's" parents wanted to come and help "Rock" and family.  Since Rock was not able to work at the cabin the weekend of the new heart, They went to the cabin to work.  They came back from the cabin and they came to visit this evening.  I sure love them so much!  I feel their overwhelming love flowing into me.  I no longer needed someone to escort me on my walks, so I started walking 3 miles a day once I left ICU.  It's almost not worth counting anymore!  Lol Walking around in a hallway in circles 36 times.  WOHOO!  JOY!  I got to know the nurses. I took the time to write thank you cards to the nurses and doctors and delivered them.

I love my boys and my mom so much and so many others who have been so supportive, praying and sending their love!  I don't want to let anyone down!  I am going to obey the doctors rules and get out of here is what I thought!   It's also what I keep thinking because I am not a good rule follower.

Hope you all have an amazing weekend and remember to make the best of it!  

Love you and thank you for taking the time to read the blog!!

Claire

Journey to Recovery

Good Wednesday morning!  

I hope you are having an awesome week so far!  I really have to say, I miss being able to give people a hug!  Right now I am doing the fist bump and it feels so impersonal. If I run into you and I don't hug you, it's not because I don't want to, it's just another one of those rules for now.  Very soon, it won't be so extreme!!  Please don't take offense!  It sucks for me more than you can imagine!

I woke up August 28th with three tubes coming out of my belly, and a "Christmas tree" on my neck (lines of IV for my medication".  They had warned me about when I get out of surgery that I would have tons of tubes coming out, a pacer for my new beautiful heart to be strong and beat for a few days and hooked up to a lot of IV for the auto-immusosupressants, etc.  My sternum was all bandaged but not NEARLY the pain I expected.  

It was something, all right!  Rock and I had decided we wouldn't take pictures and we wouldn't have "Miracle Boy" there until the day after. HINDSIGHT, we both wish he (Rock) would've taken a picture, only so I could see how far I had come each day.  That Sunday, when people would tell me "how great I looked"  I was like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I look like POOP! LOL!  I looked like I had been hit by a truck, but I seriously felt SO GOOD even that day after.  I do wish we had a picture.  If you ever experience something like this, I would recommend take a picture, so you can see your progress as you heal. 

I didn't know it was against the rules for people to visit me, so between my mom, Rock and Miracle Boy, my uncle and a couple of others, I was told to keep the visitors to a minimum.  LOL!  Do they not know the social person I am? hehe!  How do I say no??

My AWESOME surgeon came in and I had a chance to visit with him.  He told me everyone in that surgery room kept on saying "that's the biggest one I have ever seen".....they meant the heart but of course I had to respond like an adolescent boy that doesn't know better...."That's what she said!"  HAHAHA!  I couldn't resist!  We had a good laugh.  He did such an amazing job!  He also mentioned there was PLENTY of room to fit my new hear since the old hear took so much space!  I am so grateful to him for cutting me open so carefully and putting me back together so great that I really wasn't in pain.

I honestly felt real good!  I didn't have to take pain medication.  I was told I'm a cheap date!!  HAHAHA! Sunday, I was a little sleepy, and my "activity was moving from the bed to the chair and back!  LOL!  Monday was better I got to take a walk and started walking at least a mile a day.  I did have to have a nurse or someone from Cardiac Rehab come with me ( "My walkers").  HAHAHA!  Tuesday I got the catheter out, Wednesday I got one of the chest tubes out and Thursday I got the last chest tube out.  Every day was less equipment to be attached to and more mobile!  

Needless to say, I did not make it to Monday's sales meeting that week. There is some irony here however.  The day I had my big V-FIB we had a grand opening in a new community, and the day I received my new heart was the grand opening of another community.  My first text to my boss of course was..."How was the grand opening, and I am so sorry I wasn't there".  Oh, Yes, I can be a little cuckoo, but, knowing is half the battle.

Everyone has been so supportive and so amazing!  I seriously can't believe the love pouring into me! Please understand, It's not me though, it's really all God!  Regardless of WHAT happens, God is in control and I am here to work his plan no matter what that plan is!  I will abide!

I daily read this little book "God's Promises, Day by Day".  It's daily inspirational thoughts. Here is the day of the surgery August 27th:

"The peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:7

August 28th:

"You are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." Colossians 2:10

Here is a good song for you to keep your faith strong and "Let go and let God"  Lauren Daigle.  "I will Trust in You"
https://youtu.be/qv-SXz_exKE

For now, PEACE OUT!  Have an awesome day!  

 Stay tuned "escape from ICU"  HAHAHHAHAHA!

XOXOXO

Faith, hope, love!

Claire

The day of the CALL! New Heart New beginning!

"THE PEACE OF GOD, WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING, WILL KEEP YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS" PHILIPPIANS 4:7

Good Saturday morning to you!  WOW!  Today is exactly SIX weeks since I received the gift of life! I PRAISE GOD for this opportunity, I am so grateful for the Donor and the donor family,  So grateful for the doctors that got me this far!  I am in awe today as I start the day at all the amazing miracles and wonderful people in my life!!
https://youtu.be/wh-07BzfgYY   "It's a beautiful life" Ace of Base

The week of August 27th was not the most straight forward week.  Wednesday I had gone to my rhythm doctors and they noticed more sparks(shocks in the heart) and wanted me to wear a heart monitor.  I was not even going to go to this appointment, because what was the point after all?  I am on the transplant list, so I questioned the heart monitor until the kind docs said, we want to make sure you don't have a stroke before you get a new heart. I realized, they were only looking out for the best for me.  However, how do I hide THIS in my wardrobe?  How am I going to keep this heart monitor on the DL??

Then the day before the call, I had visited with my heart failure/heart transplant team and my "Chief Doc" who has been with me from the beginning and who I view as a completely intelligent and amazing person. He asked if I had a wake up call the week prior when I received the false alarm call. I replied "yes, I AM NOT READY, how do I get ready for this?" he responded with "Just live your life".  I love him and that's easy for him to say, but I needed a game plan, I thought.  

As I was leaving my office Friday night, dang, I should've at least tidied up the office!  HAHAHA!!  I looked up at the sky and told God, I seriously feel like David in the book of psalms.  I trust you with all my heart and soul and I know you have this, but please ease my anxiety.  Then came home to walk the dog with my mom and Andrew, "Rock" went to fix the cabin that weekend.  I said to my mom "after my transplant, if I want to whimp out anywhere before here, you just tell me to keep going" WEIRD TIMING!!

After being placed on the list, I always had my phone near me in case I got the call. The day I got the real call, August 27th, I was sleeping when I got the call at 5:00am.  It was very appropriate that it was "Hero Doc" that got the ball rolling. He mentioned that he called first and foremost to make sure that I'm in town, then tells me that I need to get to the hospital because they have the heart that would be perfect for me. My first response is "so you're going to call me back to confirm?"  He said no, "I want you to get to the hospital by 7:00 am." 

So, I quickly showered and went down to tell my mom I had to go, she asked "why are you going to the gym so early"?.  I said no, I have to go get my new heart.  We argued back and forth about who would drive and she finally won.  I called our wonderful friend and neighbor who I knew I had to tell in case of My ROCK not being in town since he did travel often.  I told her it was time and if she could pick up Miracle Boy and have him spend the day at their house?  Even though it was super early, this angel ran to our house to pick him up!  I woke Miracle Boy to tell him mom was going to go get her new heart and he needed to get dressed to go to our friends house for the day.  Miracle Boy was the bravest, most comforting 12 year old, ever!!  He gave me a big hug and said "mom is getting a new heart, I'm so happy" I think he was the most excited and bravest of us all!  I hurried and called Rock, but went to voice mail.  We finally talked!  He turned a 4 hour drive into a 2 hour drive and was at my side by 10:00am.  

Mom and I drove to the hospital, first got on a wrong elevator, then ended up in the surgery area where the nurse who guided us to the right place said "we never have a heart transplant patient walk into the OR space prior to transplant".  Here I am again being a first.  The nurses and everyone  kept asking who I was and I looked too good to need a transplant.  I agreed, but said I'm supposed to be getting registered and prepped and in room S208.  

I needed to take a scrub shower, so I went to the shower and somehow my stupid hearing aid piece got stuck again.  So the nice tech was able to help me get it out.  What a crazy few hours!  I didn't realize till I started getting texts etc that my cute friend had sent a prayer request on fb.  I was overwhelmed by the love and the prayers, that is really what got me through this whole day!  I still wasn't sure however if it was going to happen.  Not to be graphic, but they don't know 100% till they open up the donor.  Josh and Ivy were the nurses that day and took good care of me!  Met the awesome surgeon, the anesthesiologist and the team that would be working on me later that day.  

My brother (just younger than me) was there with my mom and Rock the entire time.  I kept on telling him to go enjoy his day, but he stayed.  Our Pastors came and we prayed several times together.  My uncle came and we prayed together.  I hope the nurses and docs trying to see me and get me prepped were somehow influenced by all the prayers as was my brother.  I love him to pieces and HE is one that I really wish would "LET GO AND LET GOD"  He worries so much about everything.  I wish he would just have faith that God has it all under control.

Dr. Hero had to turn off my defibrillator because that was also coming out during this transplant!  Yeah!!  Thank you to Dr. Hero for taking such great care of me! I'm not sure if I would've gotten a transplant if it wasn't for his gift to see how sick my heart and my body were.  My anesthesiologist,  Raul had to put my IV in because nobody else could get my veins to work.  Which is SUPER funny, because my veins usually jump out, but I guess they were super shy that day!  HAHAHA!  Anything on me shy?  hmm.  I was adamant about getting pictures of my old heart. The doctors have been talking about how HUGE my heart is that I really needed to see that!  "Rock" reminded me before going to surgery, that I needed to ask to get pictures before Raul touched me and he was so right!!  As soon as Raul touched my forehead, I was out like a light!

I was taken into surgery around 2:00pm, they cut me open at 2:40, apparently, the heart was a good match. I woke up around 7:00pm initially, but really more like 10:00pm!  Still mostly under Anastasia but trying to get breathing tube out of me. I kept on trying to talk and ask if the new heart was actually in me.  They kept on telling me not to talk. SERIOUSLY?  Me not talk?? HAHAHA!  WHo are they talking to?  They did tell me yes, that I had the new heart in me!    

We tried and tried to remove that AWFUL breathing tube, but I kept on falling asleep😁. We thought about giving it up a bit, but then just kept on trying and went for it and got it done.  My nurse Joann was so freaking amazing! She seriously is a saint!  God really put her there on purpose!  She had music on, she danced we wohoo'd!!  She was seriously the perfect nurse for me that night!!  Thanks God!!  God orchestrated his entire thing so perfectly!  I am so grateful for his love, mercy and grace!!

That was six weeks ago TODAY!  If you don't want to see images, please stop reading now. Otherwise, here are pictures of my old heart.  I will also put a picture of what a good healthy heart is supposed to look like.  Although it is NOT the one in my body.  

I want to thank you again for your love and prayers!  GOD IS SO, SO GOOD!!  

"HE WHO LOVES ME WILL BE LOVED BY MY FATHER, AND I WILL LOVE HIM" JOHN 14:21
Here is an interview with my good friend Rochelle Owens.  Take a listen if you haven't already.  XOXOXOXO http://www.rochelleowens.com/journal/let-go-let-god

My OLD Heart-  That big blob is all FAT and the Right side of my heart

A HEALTHY HUMAN HEART- NOT MINE JUST A PIC SO YOU CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE

THIS IS MY OLD HEART IN MY CHEST

 6 weeks, trying out an old costume with scars and all!

SAY YES!

https://www.yesutah.org/understanding-donation/

Today is a day I wish I could go out in a crowd.  This month is "Cancer awareness month" The Women's Council of Realtors had their "the Annual Bra's for a Cause" and this is the first time in 8 years that I have not been able to attend.  The person who started this event was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer last year and she fought like crazy and she is still here with us to put another event together.  I would have loved to have been there to support both the amazing lady and the women in the WCR.  

In addition, our family just lost someone dear to us who had been battling cancer for quiet some time.  He finally went home to rest, but left an amazing legacy behind with the work he did for the lord, the influence he had on his wife, amazing children, grandchildren and anyone he encountered.  You will be missed by many, but I know you are in a beautiful place no longer in pain.  

My wonderful friend called asked me a month before the Utah Organ Donation walk and asked me if I was planning on doing the Utah Organ Donor walk on August 20th.  I was thinking about it, but once she asked, it was confirmed in my mind that YES, indeed this was something we needed to do. I signed up the entire family, including Rock, my mom, my mom's friend, Miracle Boy and of course the friend who suggested we do it!  We were officially a team walking in the  "Utah Say YES" to Organ donation walk. 

We had a great time!  We laughed a lot, lost one another often, all the fun stuff that happens when we are all together.  Funny thing was that I couldn't wait for them to get the walk started, I said "let's just go the opposite direction, and start walking."   Of course this was not surprising to any of the crew that was there with me. They all know me too well!  HAHAHA!  Not sure if that's good or bad...LOL!  

I have to admit, this walk was a little different for me that day.  As we walked I wondered if I could spot a heart recipient, and wondered what that would look like.  I am planning on doing this walk next year and I hope you will ALL join me in this Utah Organ Donor walk or if you're in another state, find something to participate in.  You can't take it with you! What a gift we can do by being a DONOR.  

I'd also planned a get together at my house that night to celebrate the end of summer. The gathering would start between 5:30-6:00pm.  Rock and I were getting things ready. I got a call around 4:30pm, it was a "no caller ID"  of course I thought, I am not going to pick this up!  I don't want to be interrupted for solicitation, then another call, finally a number I sort of recognized but missed it somehow.  It was a call from my doctor that there may be a heart for me and he just wanted to make sure i was in town.  Since sometimes I snuck out of town to go to the cabin.  I had PROMISED them I would not leave again till I was told I could.  They were 80% sure, but needed to do more testing being being sure.  He said he would call back and let me know.  I got a call around 6:00pm, that this particular heart was not perfect one for me, for one reason or another and he couldn't give me more detail.  They thought there would be an even better match for me! This was while people were in my house.  WOW!!  What a wake up call that was!  Wow!  I honestly was in denial (remember, DENIAL, not just a river in Egypt) until that call!  Freaked me out!  The show must go on, right?  That we did!! Talk about an INTERESTING evening for Rock and I!  All I thought about was the irony that we did the organ donor walk THAT morning and I was getting the call THAT night!  That was not the right time for me, and THAT was ok

God orchestrates things in his time!  There is always something bigger, Have faith!  It is all part of his plan.  Praying for all those folks in the hurricane.

Let's plan on joining one another next year in the Organ Donor walk and if you're not a donor, check out this link and learn more. https://www.yesutah.org/understanding-donation/

FAITH, HOPE, LOVE

XOXOXO

Claire

Reunion at Cabin

Good morning!  I have to admit, I like warmer weather so I can walk outside even in the rain.  Today however, it's chilly so I get to walk on the treadmill in my basement.  Fortunately, I do have that but can't deny I love walking outside breathing the fresh air and looking at the leaves change color!  We are in Utah and we get to experience four seasons, how cool is that!

Continued from last post- Reunion at cabin

Being on the transplant list, you are not allowed to travel more that 2 hours from the hospital in case you get a call.  I had to ask every time if I could go to the cabin.  This time was a bigger deal, I had a flight scheduled and paid for the meet the family and if for some reason my docs said no, I would totally disappoint everyone but especially "Rock".  I had my appointment the day before I was supposed to fly, and fortunately, I didn't have to disappoint anyone, or possibly have to explain my absence.  My in-laws had no idea this was happening.

Usually, when I take the weekend off and go to the cabin, I am still constantly working and fielding calls etc.  This year going into it my goal is just to slow down, enjoy the family I would be spending time with and show love and affection!!  I wanted to let myself get closer to my sisters in law and my wonderful mom- in-law.  It's funny how men marry women that are very similar to their mom.  My mom-in-law is totally a woman of God.  She has had her struggles with her health indeed!  She keeps the best positive attitude, she trusts God always and knows he is there for her.  She has FOMO (fear of missing out)  JUST LIKE ME!  Regardless of whether we should or shouldn't do something, we don't want to miss out on the fun.  My dad-in-law....is THE MOST PATIENT man I have EVER met!  

It was working beautifully, until of course I didn't get what I wanted!  HAHAHA!  Isn't that the way it always works.  I wanted to go to Jackson Hole, and "Rock" wanted to check out this hot spring, or hotpot in the mountains somewhere.  

We decide to go to Ennis and some of us go on a hike to find hot pot (which is what David wants) or go to Virginia city.  Since I've been to Virginia city a million times, I opted for the other.  That was NOT super smart for me on that day!!  In the middle of the day, high heat, without shade going to a hot pot that's as big as a tub.  The trail although in normal circumstances would not have been challenging, but I guess knowing my condition I was more aware of how difficult it had become.  On my hike, I thought about all the things I probably should NOT be doing while I am on the transplant list.  So, as soon as I got in the truck, breathing heavy, sweating and frustrated that something that should have been so easy, was so difficult for me!  

Five things only a stupid person on a heart transplant list does.

1. River rafting class 5
2. Hiking
3. Hiking in the middle of the heat of the day.
4. Being completely out of service from all cellular devices 
5. Making others happy instead of trying to do everything you can to stay alive!!  Stupid stupid!

So TEN things you should do while on a heart transplant list.

1. Be grateful for every moment 
2. Love 
3. Pray
4. Laugh at stupid stuff because it's all stupid!
5. Write a journal
6. Ask a lot of questions
7. Exercise the body mind and spirit 
8. Be disciplined in your medicine intake
9. Set up disciplines you will need after transplant.  ie- work out, eat right, listed to your body.



Grandma, Grandpa and the posse (some missing)

10. Read positive quotes, bible verses that ease your anxiety, fears and struggles.

    

    The little "hot pot"
    

    The weekend was fabulous overall!  It gave me a lot of time to think about what is coming ahead.  We prayed often, we sang often and we ATE often.  LOL!  Something about family coming together.  Regardless of which side of our family, somehow, it always evolves around eating!  HAHAHA!  Gotta love it!

    
    

    I hope you are having a wonderful day!  Remember, be grateful for your journey.  It may not always be what you want it to be, but you are here for a purpose.  God is ALWAYS faithful and will always carry you through the good times and the rough times.

    
    

    Love you!  Until next time!

    
    

    Claire

"Open the Eyes of My Heart"

SHEEP FALLS 

Howdy, howdy!  I guess I tend to do most of my thinking and writing at night when the house is quiet and I am done with work.  This is an entry from my journal a few weeks before the transplant.  

It's been a while since I have jotted down my thoughts and feelings.  Today is Sunday, "Miracle Boy" and "Rock"  are at the cabin and they are waiting for the rest of the "In-Law" family to show up at the cabin.  I have not gone up with them, because again, I am trying to save all my vacation time for the "BIG DAY".  I keep thinking how I can serve the lord and what his purpose is for me. Today's sermon was on talking to an non-believer. My brothers grew up the exact same family and the exact same teaching, but have not allowed God or Christ fully into their loves. I took our Pastors lesson as a sign that getting the gospel to them was one of those important things God wanted me to do.  

If you listen to many Christian songs, there are a lot of songs that have the lyrics that have to do with "HEART"  I sang at church and out of the blue the thought of the surgeon cutting into my chest and how that might feel struck me!  Ouch!  That is going to hurt like a bugger!! Ugh! Luckily that passed pretty quickly.  Then, my second thought was, I wonder how quickly I am going to be able to give "Miracle Boy" a hug.  He is the best snuggle bug and I wanted to make sure I could quickly after the surgery give him hugs.

That night, I had dinner with my family since my boys were away.  .  My two brother, my two sister in-laws and my mom.  They kept on asking me if I was ok, and bombarding me with a lot of questions.  Finally, I told them what was going on. I felt bad because I knew now they were going to start to worry and over think everything, especially, my mom.  My Brother G,  started to cry and it's exactly what I didn't want to happen.  THe LAST thing I wanted to do was to make them worry.  At church today we were talking about not letting the moment get away from trying to bring people to Christ.  So, I tried to make them understand, it's ok, I'm ok, it's all part of Gods plan.  I don't know if they completely understood what I was saying while I was telling them That I have given ALL control to God as they all should.  

On my way home, I sent them some bible verses hoping it would help. I don't expect them to suddenly Welcome God and Christ into their lives, just to soften their hearts.  These are the verses I shared with them.  I love them regardless, but I want them to feel the HAPPINESS of knowing that he is in control.  It is the most relieving feeling!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

"Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” John 14:27

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

I really want them to lean on God and let him in!  Is that so hard!  Is that too much to ask for?  Ugh!  

The first time ever, my sister in law who I love to pieces, sent me a text telling me she is praying for me.  That is enough to make it all worthwhile!!  I hope this is a step towards praying and maybe just maybe slowly letting God will work in her heart to soften.

Seems like that is long enough for today, I will continue with the In-Law reunion tomorrow.

Love you to pieces!  I will finish with this song tonight, and a picture of God's creation.

music here "OPEN THE EYES OF MY HEART LORD"