Our Miracle!

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us,who can be against us? Romans 8:31

Oh my dearest friends and family!

The last few days with these blogs have been a little challenging for me!  I am not usually one to be vulnerable and share really personal information about my life!  So, I have been doing some soul searching and really want you all to know the purpose of sharing.  I wanted to share in case there is anyone out there who is going through the same thing or even a similar thing, or perhaps just a rough time in their life.  There is ALWAYS hope! With FAITH, there is always HOPE and with HOPE, there is always LOVE!  I wanted to share my experiences to show how GREAT our God is!  I want you to see God's Grace and his faithfulness!!  After one of my walks today, I looked for a song that made me think of this struggle of being vulnerable but share my experiences and was reminded of one my of favorite singers, Mandissa and this song "What if we were real".  I want to share with you.  I hope you enjoy it!

https://youtu.be/BcLYkUb5Keo

CLICK HERE FOR MUSIC

2002-2003

I was acclimated to the medication by this time, and realized that elevations were going to just KICK MY BUTT!!  It didn't mean I wasn't going to do them, it just meant it would not be easy!  I guess I always have had the case of denial ( no, that's "not just a river in Egypt", as a friend of mine would say) Maybe, denial is what makes me so stubborn to keep going and keep fighting and praying.

At this time, I had a team of doctors.  Luckily the one I saw the most was this amazing doctor.  Not only was she super smart, but she was also beautiful and funny!  I knew if we didn't have a doctor/patient relationship, we would instantly be friends.  I respected, admired and trusted her completely.  I was starting to talk about having a child.  She, knowing me, gave me statistics and all sorts of information that showed why it wasn't a good idea.  

My brother and sister in law were wanting to be parents, and I was so focused on praying that they would soon become parents because I knew they would be the most incredible parents.  Once our family was blessed with my nephew, I was ready to start my conversation and praying.  As I had said before "if God wanted me to conceive a child it would happen, otherwise,  it wasn't going to happen." Here's God's timing again....within about 4 months after my nephew was born, I learned I was pregnant.

My doctors were not too thrilled.  Studies were not favorable to the mother to conceive a child.  There were a lot of discussions that since this was not a good idea, that I should not go forward. Again, my response was, "if God wants me to have this child, I will," I had to take tests to see where my heart pressures were doing, what my ejection fraction was doing and so on.  As we did the tests, my ejection fraction (this is to see how strong your heart is pumping)  had gone from 19 when I was in the hospital to 30 (50-70 is normal) So, for me that was a sign, that this was totally meant to be, and with these results the doctors were on board and I was referred to a "high risk" baby doc.  He was also a fantastic doc.

My nine months were interesting. Isn't that what all mom's-to-be say, right?  The builder I worked for had a cruise for the entire office scheduled. I blame the ship (haha) that I threw up one morning.  That was the only morning-sickness I had.  I was about 5 months along before I told most of my co-workers.  One day, one of the superintendents asked a fellow agent if I was "letting myself go, it looked like I had put on some lbs." HAHA!  That's when I decided I better come clean.  I met a potential home-buyer and when I gave him my business card, he said "wow, I bet your husband wishes you still looked like that".  Of course, I was butt-hurt! You would be too ;)  As soon as they left, I called my husband and said "I look the same now as I did before I was prego, right"?  "The Rock" said "of course" LOL!  He SCORED SOME MAJOR BROWNIE POINTS!  I dropped those home-buyers like a hot potato!  HAHAHA!  I would at times tell my model partner "I am just worried about the baby," if he is moving too little or whatever.  She being wise said to me  "Welcome to the rest of your life worrying about your child".  NO DOUBT!!  LOL!  She was so right!

Being "high risk" does have it's perks!  I got to see my baby often with an echo.  We first called it peanut.  Then when we could find out the sex, we were both there to experience it together.  "The Rock" who LOVES fly fishing said " look he has a fly rod and we laughed and that's when we knew our peanut was a boy.  :).  Honestly, we were just happy that our peanut was healthy. I would pray in the shower EVERY morning like it was my mantra. "Please God, I just want a healthy, happy, smart and strong baby".  Literally every day!! The pregnancy was uneventful, which is what we were hoping for, the delivery on the other hand, was another exciting adventure.

You HAVE to have a sense of humor for this next part.  My dad had to appear in court and my mom and my hubby needed to also attend.  The date was suddenly moved out and in the back of our minds, we all thought "oh no, a little too close to the baby's due date".  As my due date came closer, I had to visit with my doctors weekly.  We were prepared in case the baby was going to come early.  Well, surprise!  Getting ready for bed one night, I noticed I had water coming down my leg.  I quickly called my mom and said "I either pee'd my pants or my water broke mom, what do I do"?  Of course she said well, since you haven't pee'd your pants in over thirty years, I am pretty sure your water broke."  So, I called the hospital to see what we should do?  They told us "since you're not having contractions, just sleep and come in tomorrow during your scheduled appointment time." SLEEP?  Are you freaking kidding me?  We did NOT sleep for one minute!  HAHA!  We packed and realized that next day was the day my mom, dad and hubby would have to appear in court. Life is an adventure with me!  I thought, oh it's ok, I will just drive to the hospital and when you guys are done you can join me.  Of course my mom wouldn't have any of that, she sent my youngest brother to drive me.  As soon as we got to the hospital and several times there-after, my brother would tell a nurse "I am her brother not her husband......I don't want to see anything I shouldn't see".  He was also single at the time, sometimes I wonder if it was because he thought the nurses were cute  ;).  My mom and hubby showed up, my mom had parked in a 1 hour parking and I wasn't ready to go yet, so my awesome hubby went to move her vehicle since we were all going to be there a while. So we thought :) 

Well, shortly after he left to move the car, the baby's heart rate dropped.  I was immediately taken to OR for emergency C-Section.  "The Rock" came back from moving the vehicle and nobody is in the room he left us in and he has heard "Patient Crash"  so he's frantically trying to figure out where I was.  My heart doctors heard "patient crash, OR stat".  Apparently, on the HEART floor, this means someone is dying in labor and delivery it means "emergency C-section".   My doctors were walking towards OR (one of my docs has told me this amazing story several times).  They were talking to one another saying, "we told her she shouldn't do this".  The entire time I was in OR I was PRAYING!!! Again another time that I have never felt closer to God.  I kept on saying if this is your will, I understand, but why would you bring us this far?  I know your plan is for us to have this child, I have felt the calmness the entire time? I had felt his presence the entire time I was pregnant, taking care of all the details.  Finally, the baby was out and was breathing and they showed him to me just before the doctors walked in.  As soon as I saw them, all I would say to them was "DID YOU SEE MY BEAUTIFUL BABY?"  I literally had a grin from EAR TO EAR!  

Sadly, I was on the heart floor and the baby was on the labor and delivery floor in NICU because he was born less than 5lbs.  My AMAZING "Rock" after 24 hours, put his foot down. He made a stink to get us together and sure enough I was re-united with my miracle boy. I made sure I didn't take any pain medication so I could feed him.  I was walking to him which made me heal faster. They let me "rent " a room after the 2 days so I could stay there.  They were finally ready to kick me out because they were getting "full". I was nervous because they hadn't given us the green light for the miracle boy to go home. I KNEW when he got home he was going to thrive!  On that SAME day that I was going to get booted, which was also our wedding anniversary,  we were all released to go home! What an awesome anniversary present!! Talk about God's timing!!  One more thing about big picture, God timing, if I had the transplant when I was first diagnosed, with the auto-immunosupressants, I would not have conceived my miracle boy.  

Ecclesiastes 3:11  He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

This has probably been the most difficult one for me, but also the one that shows that faith, hope and love really do conquer all and Just because I know God is faithful, it doesn't mean things are not going to be challenging, I just have to always trust he has a bigger plan than I can understand.

Faith, Hope and LOVE to you my friends!  I hope you are having an amazing week!  

Love,

Claire